Murphy Jacobs, Author Ordinaire

Talking about writing

2011-08-16T14:41:00.002-04:00

Talking about writing

Several years ago I had a professor for creative writing who gave us a rule: Never talk about the project while you are writing it. Wait until you are done. Don't show it to anyone, don't ask for advice, and for the sake of all that's holy, don't edit before you type "the end". The idea was that you could talk a story to death, you could get diverted by other people's advice and opinions, you could distract and rattle yourself out of doing any writing at all, or you could spend all your time talking and none of it writing.

It's good advice, and, being me, I took it to heart to such an extent that I rarely if ever discuss the stories I'm writing until they are done. I refuse to edit or even fix typos because I have, in mid story, gone back to rework something and completely destroyed it. So it has stood me in good stead.

Also, being me, I sometimes take it far too much to heart. I can't even talk about what I'm writing, often times, even when I should -- when I want to workshop something, or even to sell it. I find myself rendered inarticulate about my subject, embarrassed, unable to explain why I find something compelling in my stories. Once they are in the imagined glare of the public (no matter who that "public" might be, no matter how sympathetic or even enthusiastic) I can see only faults and flaws.

Oh yes, I can drive myself right into a neurotic tailspin if I am not careful. It's not even a fear of rejection (because I assume that). It's fearing I won't communicate what I'm trying to communicate, that what I'm saying is nothing anyone wants to hear.

Now, I get over it from time to time (I don't live my entire life in a hell of my own making) and, strangely, I find it so relieving to talk about something I'm writing with another person. Often it clears my head, points me in directions to get around problems, and lets me breathe. It's still incredibly difficult to do in general. It seems to take so much explaining.

How about the rest of you? Do you follow particular rules when you are writing? Do have problems talking about your work, or is that your favorite thing? Talk to me, people! I want to know!

Ooo New Toy!

2011-07-29T12:01:00.000-04:00

I am in love with Google+. I got my invitation about 3 weeks ago and I've been there almost constantly ever since.

Best part? The Hangouts. In particular, the WRITING Hangouts. To someone who isn't a crazed writer it might sound ridiculous, but they are wonderful. It's like meeting up with your writing group at the local coffee shop to spend time chatting and writing, only the chairs are always comfortable, you can always find a power outlet, and there's no bad music coming over the sound system. I find them incredible ways to plow through a few hundred words at a time. Love, love, love!

Speaking of plowing through words, the next chapter on Temporary Position is spinning and spooling along. I am still having some focus problems, but that improved with the Hangouts. I am still waiting to hear from the freelance editor and have officially moved into Getting Antsy but not yet Full Out Panicked.

Book Review -- Shades of Milk and Honey

2011-07-23T23:06:00.000-04:00

Book review
Shades of Milk and Honey by Mary Robinette Kowal

I picked up this book yesterday while shopping because I'd met the author online, liked her, and was curious.

Well, my curiosity is well served because I'm now hooked in at the very beginning of a series which is not yet existent. Damn it all! I hate the suspense of waiting for the next book in a series to come out, and my completionist soul rebels when publishers switch covers/sizes or forms (going from mass market to hardbacks for initial release, I'm looking at you, Dresden Files) so that I can't line the books up together on the shelf (and other things that provoke the book obsessed).

I've read a number of "Austen sequels" and a few books written in homage to Austen's themes, settings, and style. Most don't quite meet standards for even a good read, much less invoke Austen in complimentary fashion. This one succeeded for me quite well (and my husband is reading it now, as I've spend some years addicting him to Austen and Heyer as well).

Anyway...this book is much in the same vein as* Sorcery and Cecelia or The Enchanted Chocolate Pot* in that it is Regency England touched with magic and modern conceits of romance. I sensed hints of Georgette Heyer here and there (although the author is sticking more closely to Austen than to Heyer, I still see resemblances). This is an Austen-esque story told in the style of our contemporary novels, with an eye to how we think of things in the early 21st century. Under the layers of romantic intrigue are themes of style vs. substance, issues of self worth, and ideas of what makes art -- which is quite a lot to pack into a touch over 300 pages. The reading is quick and nearly effortless -- I tumbled through the first chapter sitting at the bookstore, got through three more before passing out in bed, picked it up in the morning when I woke, and read through the morning despite many cat and dog interruptions.

As for the story itself, I found a lot of themes familiar and interesting for me. I felt much sympathy for the main character, Jane Ellsworth (who surely approaches nearer the real interior life of Elinor Dashwood than we ever see in Sense & Sensibility itself). The worst I can say about the book -- and this is picking nits -- is that it ended in that whirling, pull-back-shot montage style I've noticed in YA fiction and have yet to like. I prefer stories to go on with what they started and end rather than sum up as if there is no more time. However, because there are sequels (damnitall!) I am magnanimous in my forgiveness to Ms. Kowal (even while chomping at the bit for the Winter 2012 release...is it available for preorder yet? Not according to B&N, drat it all!)

Progress Update

2011-07-14T11:58:00.000-04:00

Chapter 24 is done! My beta readers in the Yahoo group should be so pleased.

I finished a quick review of chapters 1-3, sent them off to my lovely friend who agreed to proof for me, and Monday they go to the editor for a sort of "first date" -- where she decides if she can do what I need done. I'm a wee bit nervous, to be sure, but not as nervous as I might be.

You see, I have fallen back in love with my manuscript.

After I finished a little tightening and trimming in the second and third chapters last night, I kept reading. I wanted to know what happened next. I was interested. Oh, I still rethought the occasional verb, still added or deleted bits, but mostly I just read. I remembered why I wanted to write this story -- because I hadn't read one like it anywhere and I really, really wanted to read one.

So, now I am thinking about the next chapter, but before I get there I have to go back and keep reading. I'm not rewriting, exactly -- if anything requiring extensive changes pops up, I know enough to post a comment note and move on -- but I just have to see what happens after the point I stopped last night. I really like this book.

And it's been a long, long time since I did.

In Which Some Endings are Happier Than Others

2011-07-08T23:07:00.000-04:00

All that fretting and worrying for nothing -- I heard from the editor in question shortly after I posted the last update. Things seem to be working positively.

So, now all I have to do is finish up The Scene That Refuses To Be Written, get my protagonist through the aftermath of that, then set up the Big Obstacle. Once the Big Obstacle arrives, I'll be closing in on the ending, which will be the Big Decision and the Happy Ever After, since I've decided that, yes, I will go with the happy ending.

That's an actual choice, you know. I could write the whole thing and have my protagonist return to her well worn rut to repeat the mistakes she's made or, worse, to live in bitterness over having given up what she wants for the sake of Others. Oh yes, I could have an Unhappy Ending. I could also have an Ambiguous Ending -- very lit fic -- and much more the way life seems to work out most of the time. But I decided a while back that this story is, at the heart of things, a Romance. That is, it is a story constructed along a certain line, with particular rules. One of those rules is some kind of Happy Ending. Now, endings come in various levels of Happiness, from Total Happiness to Happiness with Shadows on it.

It's a big deal, picking out the ending one can live with in a story. A completely happy ending does not come naturally to me (big surprise, I'm sure). And a happy ending has to be earned, so it has to be proportionate to what the protagonist suffers, survives, overcomes, and learns. A completely happy ending dropping on the head of an undeserving protagonist tips the whole story out of balance. I'm not saying those stories don't end up in print, but they aren't the sort to please me. I also don't much care for extremes of suffering in order to make a protagonist deserving. People do suffer, sometimes suffer greatly over things that seem small (I'm an excellent example of that) but there are parameters, balances to be maintained. An ending doesn't have to detail everything, but it does have to be tidy. It also has to fulfill the contract made with the reader at the beginning.

I keep searching my first chapter to me sure I'm very clear on what I'm promising at the end. And what I'm promising is some level of Happy Ending. The person telling this story has to be telling it from a position of relative happiness, of having what she wants (more or less). Nothing is perfect, but nothing has to be.

Now if I could just get it written.

Every Bump is a Road Block

2011-07-08T13:24:00.000-04:00

My fragility is thrown in my face this week. I run into this shit more often than I like, and it shames me into silence. Maybe if I talk about it -- here, on my lonely blog, my cheap therapy place -- I'll bring something into the light.

Ok, the simple version. I attended a webinar recently on using a self published book to interest an agent, and in that the idea of hiring a freelance editor to polish the manuscript came up. Now, I'm a big believer in editing, so I talked it over with a few folks. I know someone who does freelance editing for a legal books company (lawyers have their own publications), and I did some work myself as a proofer, so I felt I had a rough idea what I'd have to spend. I asked for a referral from someone who should know, contacted a person, and made my pitch.

A day later, while reading over the notes from the webinar (stuff that wasn't in the webinar but was answered later) the presenter said that freelance line editors ask between $75 to $125 PER HOUR. Who are these people and who the hell do they find to pay them? I know that small press editors, who spend hours and hours nursing manuscripts, do not get NEARLY this much money for their efforts, and they are essentially freelance. If they should be pulling down $75 per hour, considering a manuscript can easily swallow up 20 to 30 hours, that is a, shall we say, lot of money -- far more than I can afford to pay, far more than anyone I know who writes can afford to pay. That's very likely more than someone working for a publisher makes (at least from what I'm told by those who work for publishers.)

But me, I will take this as gospel and suddenly I realize perhaps why I have not heard back from this freelance editor and (here comes the spiral) I'd practically insulted her, which would eventually work back to the person who gave me her name, and how in hell could I afford an editor, why was I even trying to do this, I and the story I just re-read that I liked a lot last week really sucks this week and I"m no writer I'm an idiot...

You can, of course, see where this ends up. This ends up in the usual place with me hating the world and myself in particular and considering the idea of dying and going into a separate circle about how I wouldn't know I wasn't around to love any of the things and people I love now and how that loss which hasn't happened yet makes me incredibly sad for its potential being and blah blah blah blah blah...yeah, right down to bottom because of a little bump.

Positive? I'm climbing back up a little faster than usual. In the past -- the very recent past -- such a bump could derail me for months. HAS derailed me. My psyche doesn't always tell me when I've suffered some kind of trauma that has screwed up my brain. I find out much later as I'm sorting through the pieces and wondering how the hell this happened. Yay, mental illness. I hate those words and I hate having a brain with these problems.

I want to write. My brain won't stop with stories, but the pipeline, the conduit, the way I once had of communicating these stories to the world -- that's damaged. Repair work is tough. Streets torn up in every direction, no body getting anywhere. So there's nothing else to do but get back on the job patching pipes and watching for leaks and stoppages. I have to learn the skills of clearing them faster, of not getting derailed for a pebble on my path.

This was hard to write, too. But I got it out. Damn.

Circles and Circles

2011-07-06T14:23:00.001-04:00

Things are in the "almost happening" stage. Various balls are in the air and I'm waiting to see which ones I'll catch and which ones will knock me on the head. So while I'm doing that, I'll talk about something else.

Just got my Google+ invite. I played with it some. The "Circles" idea appeals to me, both because it is, indeed, much less difficult to set up groups and because it smacks me with a kind of realization that entertains me. I have people in my circles who, to me, seem very important not just on a personal level but to the world at large. I see people in other circles who I would like to bring into mine (or be brought into theirs). Yet, if I take a step back, I realize (to my amazement) these very important people are nobodies. I can run into people who have never heard of my important people.

I find myself thinking of the passage in Persuasion where Anne Elliot reflects on how, in her move from Kellynch to Uppercross, all the concerns and worries of Kellynch are unknown, unimportant, or worthy of only a passing reference.

It's not a new thought. Everyone has, I think, slammed their noses into the fact that we all live within our own circles and see circles around us from different angles. So often, though, we are too deeply involved in our circles and our perceptions, who we accept and who we want to accept us, and we do not realize how common -- if not articulated or even cogitated -- this experience is. The Interwebinet just accentuates and increases the situation and the realization because circles -- groups, cliques, whatever -- can be built on more than the usual vagaries and ephemera, the connections gossamer, easy to make, easy to break, nearly always with one end giving the line more attention than the other.

I see in my head the connections between people as circles connected by lines, lines of varying thickness, graduated, dotted, colored. Some circles have many outgoing, few incoming. Some have more incoming than they can possibly pay attention to, and so they are the most important, the most desirable. It's apparent to anyone who uses Facebook or Twitter, who reads/writes a blog, who goes to parties or business conferences, who does anything that involves communicating with other human beings.

Yes, part of this grows out of my own issues. Deep social anxiety, learning to play-act, knowing one has a false front going while watching everyone else to see (or imagine) dynamics -- all of that does makes the world look like circles and lines, energy exchanging along them. Google+ just puts it, for the first time I've seen, into a graphical representation that completely makes sense to me.

Book Review -- Nightlife by Rob Thurman

2011-06-30T10:17:00.000-04:00

Nightlife by Rob Thurman

Story time!

I picked up this book and its sequel in 2007, at the Borders in North Orlando where I was attending a NaNoWriMo event. Yes, I remember quite clearly when I picked up the books. I'd read or heard about them, looked through the blurbs and peeked into the opening pages, so I bought them and put them on a shelf for later.

Later ended up being 4 years later, of course, but I'm glad I waited. Some instinct or whispering voice warned me to wait until more the series existed so that when I finished one book, I could move on to the next because, dammit, that's what happens with series -- you start one, you really like it, but then you have to wait a year or two years for the next installment and that's crazy making. I've been through it a few times. Books are like relationships to me, which makes it hard to get involved if I feel like I'm being strung along. I really hate it. So, I tend to wait until most of the story is available (like waiting for the unavailable guy you're crushing on to be single.)

Anyway, I've had the good luck to chat on occasion with Rob Thurman on Twitter. Wow. There is one impressive mind. I like this lady a lot. And I had guilt because there were the books, pulled from my storage locker of books to be read this year, and what was I reading that I couldn't start one of them...so yesterday afternoon I cracked open Nightlife. I read it on and off all evening and went to bed about 11 pm.

And woke up at about 3:30 am, flipped on my little reading light, and started in on it again. I finished it this afternoon. My own writing is ignored, dishes rot in the sink, the dog really wishes I'd take him out, and the cats have had about enough of this nasty litter box, but I HAD TO FINISH THE BOOK.

And I am SO glad I know this is a series, that more books exist, the story goes on. I would not have made it through without that meta-information. Because I got really attached. Hooked, I should say. Here are all my favorite things -- a smart assy first person narrative, main characters who are kick ass but imperfect, emotional relationships that made sense to me and felt real, and a world full of darkness and light, mystery and wonder. You know, all that good stuff I want from my urban fantasy. Hell, what I want from any book.

Now, for anyone familiar with urban fantasy, this isn't brand new ground, but it's well woven storytelling. The whole way through this book I caught threads of other books and series I've really devoted myself to (Jim Butcher's Dresden Files popped to mind, among others). Not a copy, just those same good qualities, the same level of involvement for me, the cleverness of the twists, the way the things I expected and the stuff I didn't expect came together. How much I liked all of it. How attached I got to Cal and Niko, and even to Robin and Promise and Georgina. Hell, even the Big Bad had repulsive fascination. I liked how things were not always explained out encyclopedia style because the characters don't know and don't always find out. The point of view worked really well, even though Thurman played some great tricks with it (I love tricks with points of view when they are done right.)

The second book is sitting on the couch next to me and I happen to know I will be in close proximity to the only large bookstore in a 3 county area on Friday -- if they have copies, I'll get the rest of the series. Then, yes, maybe I will delver into her other series (it isn't like I don't have some 300 books on my TBR pile, but we will let that pass for now.) I fully expect I will read these again (when I'll bump up to 5 stars). I expect I'll recommend them to others because when I get enthused, I get enthused.

I'm enthused. Sorry, Rob, that I waited so long, but at least I didn't wait forever. Now, I have to go read.

And the fight continues

2011-06-23T19:58:00.000-04:00

Still fighting demons of Not Writing. The brain will not obey.

I did push into chapter 24 of Temporary Position, the romance-ish thing I've had on hand for the last 2 1/2 years that Just Won't Finish. I'm right at the cusp of the scene where I have to do something painful to her, something really, really painful as opposed to all the other painful things she's been through. I have it visualized in my head. I know what happens next.

And I cannot make myself write it. So Frustrating! Seriously, it's like some other person takes over my head when I open the file and start to type. Suddenly I MUST FOLD SOCKS, or the DISHES NEED TO BE PUT AWAY, or -- oh lords of light -- I MUST VACUUM. I mean, seriously, when housework is more attractive than writing, life is terribly terribly wrong.

Vanity

2011-06-23T00:19:00.002-04:00

I finally realized I could snag a copy of the MP3 from the amazing Susie Bright's weblog, from a time a couple of years ago when she requested "romantic songs" called in to her phone. I did it on a whim. Here it is.

When I Fall In Love

Not bad for something done over a Blackberry. Yeah, I'm bragging. It's fun!

At last, I have a thought

2011-06-16T18:38:00.000-04:00

Wow, it's been a while since I even tried to post here. Reasons? Lots of reasons. A whole long autumn, winter, and spring of self doubt and little to no writing. Lots of reading, which is good. Lots of thinking about writing and talking about writing and even writing (journal style) about writing, but no actual fiction spilling out. A couple of short stabs, an abortive attempt or two.

That's yesterday, ok? I'm gonna work on today for now.

In any case, I re opened my Twitter account and things are happening there. Among the things happening is a little thought provocation. I caught a tweet from @Rob_Thurman -- Rob Thurman is the author of the Cal Leandros series (I own the first two but have yet to read more than the opening pages because I'm lame and also because I have SO many books sometimes I can't pick one). Anyway, I've followed Thurman for a while on Twitter because she's smart and interesting. Her tweet was about "genderwashing" -- similar to "white washing" of book covers (You can Google "whitewashing in YA books" to read several commentaries). In Genderwashing, a book with a male protagonist is given a cover depicting a female, often buxon, who may or may not be based on a major character in the book. It is possible that no female character of importance is in the book and none are main characters, yet the male protagonists are not depicted (This can also work in reverse).

My first thought when I read her definition was that marketing was trying to either attract male readers with a promise of boobs and sex, or trying to attract female readers with the promise of a female leading character. Boobs sell, I guess, is the logic. No matter, though, it is deceptive. It's insulting, too, both to the author and to the reader. Of course, the average reader doesn't know how very little control over such things as cover design an author has, so they could conceivably blame the author if they felt deceived. And it shows a certain lack of faith in the author's story when the publisher's marketing department feels people have to be tricked into reading it.

Beginning -- Maybe

2010-10-19T18:42:00.001-04:00

Ok, so maybe life isn't a long dark tunnel ending in disaster.

Ending

2010-06-08T23:11:00.002-04:00

You might notice I've removed a prominent link from the side bar there.

I'm not sure I am really a writer anymore. I certainly can't get any respect from the publisher who bought my story. I've ended that relationship. I don't even want the last money from them they owe me. It's not worth going through having to talk to them.

I am discouraged and depressed.

The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo

2010-04-05T19:20:00.002-04:00

The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo by Steig Larrson

I tend to avoid books that get a lot of attention, but reading the blurb at the library made me pick this one up. It was on short term loan so I bought my own copy to finish it.

This is a compulsive read. The style might be bumpy for those used to the 1st person/ narrow focus 3rd person point of view common to most modern mysteries. We have a big cast of characters and we get peeks of various lengths into the minds of several, but mostly we stick with the two protagonists. Lizbath Salander is by far the most enigmatic and therefore the most interesting, but Mikael Blomvkvist is the one with whom we spend much of our time. I'm sure there are some rough spots in the translation, too, but they didn't get in my way.

Characters are a big hunk of this book, and they make the plot move along. Set in Sweden, it took me a bit of time to get used to the names and other differences. I didn't labor over that, though -- once I got into the swing of the narrative, I was involved in watching the pieces come together. One thing I noted was the amount of computer tech info used, which is pretty up-to-date now, but I imagine will be dated and "old" in a few years. Still, it's well done and, again, does not get in the way. It's accurate enough not to trigger any "ain't no way" reactions from me, which is all I need.

What I liked best was what I like in any good mystery -- several threads, lots of possibilities without any obvious red herrings, and a surprise in the "whodunit". Information is fed out regularly through the narrative and the use of "now he knew" to get you to turn the next page, while obvious, worked and only felt a little contrived. Most of the threads were knotted off at the end, except for some that dangle for the sequels and aren't essential to the mystery (but are great for character development).

This book also contains some very horrific scenes of violence, in particular about sexual violence against women, (and a few violent actions against animals), but the book isn't ABOUT that. The book also contains a bit in the way of revenge fantasies. If you trigger on such descriptions, you might want to avoid the book, or at least have someone who has read it tell you were those sections are so you can skip them or get a synopsis. They do not make up a big portion of the book, and they either are part of the mystery or give insight into the characters. I'm looking forward to plowing into the next books in this trilogy and I hope they are equal to the first book.

Japanese Science Fiction, Fantasy and Horror Films

2010-03-24T13:45:00.002-04:00

Japanese Science Fiction, Fantasy and Horror Films: A Critical Analysis of 103 Features Released in the United States, 1950-1992

by Stuart Galbraith IV

I picked this one up while wandering the stacks at the library, and I took it home to read about the 20-odd Godzilla movies, among others.

The introduction essays to the book point out something I've learned myself over the years -- that the common conception of Japanese SF/F movies (of the 50s, 60s, and 70s especially)as being cheaply made schlock, kiddie movies, laughable and stupid films of men stomping miniature buildings while wearing rubber monster suits is both true and grossly false. Like the American movies that inspired them, these movies are also dealing with very real, very important fears and hopes, and represent how a culture looks at those fears and hopes via the venerable method of fantastic story-telling.

The book starts out with the classic Kurosawa film Rashomon before delving into the steadily murkier waters of giant monster movies I so love. Once we get into Godzilla (Gojira) country, I'm happy. The book has even changed my mind about one of the movies, Godzilla vs. Biollante (Biorante). In this one, our favorite radioactive not-a-saur goes up against -- wait for it -- a giant rosebush mutated with his own cells. Yes, this cracks me up whenever I think about it, Godzilla as hedgeclipper, but the essay points out small bits in the movie I missed, such as how this movie is actually rather dark and even a touch haunting and thoughtful. Sure, that's a big stretch for a rubber monster movie, but considering how moved I was when I saw the original, un-Americanised version of Gojira, and how really scary mid- and late-90s additions to the series are, I think I need to give this one another chance.

While often interesting in terms of history, "critical analysis" is, in my opinion, an overstatement of what the book contains. Each movie is presented with a plot summary, some facts about the actors and crew, notes about changes made to American versions, and comments about critical reception. The author touches on various themes in the movies -- few of which are obscure, as they were often delivered to the audience with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer to the kneecap -- but never delves far into the particular cultural or historical events taking place prior to or during the movie's development and production. Even more disappointing, the author makes no attempt to unpack any symbols or ideas that are peculiar to the Japanese and are obscure to an American viewer.

I've seen many of the Godzilla movies (and these movies are the major subject of the essays), and I've seen several of them multiple times. They brim with puzzling relationships, actions, ideas, and images that I'm certain make perfect sense to the Japanese but are mysterious to me (just as I know that many US films contain perfectly understandable cliches, tropes, symbols, and stereotypes that are strange and obscure to those outside my culture.) I hoped some of those might have been explained in a movie analysis, but they rarely, if ever, are.

Nevertheless, the essays are accessibly and entertainingly written. They contain a lot of facts about the movies, the directors and the production companies. Galbraith gives us a peek into a world more complex than most of us ever consider.

Ambitions!

2010-03-20T16:14:00.003-04:00

I am very happy today. First, I am happy because I churned about 1700 words into Temporary Position and finished a chapter. Yay me!

Second, I am happy because I roamed the university library and found some interesting books, picking up from last summer's Topic of Interest.

Decoding Gender in Science Fiction -- Brian Attebery
Women of the Future: The Female main Character in Science Fiction - Betty King
Galactic Suburbia: Recovering Women's Science Fiction -- Lisa Yaszek
Frankenstein's Daughters: Women Writing Science Fiction - Jane Donawerth
Where No Man Has Gone Before: Women and Science Fiction -- ed. Lucie Armitt
To Write Like a Woman: Essays in Feminism and Science Fiction -- Joanna Russ
The Philosophy of Science Fiction Film -- ed. Steven M. Sanders
Japanese Science Fiction, Fantasy and Horror Films -- Stuart Galbraith IV

Ok, I don't actually expect to READ all of these (I got the one on Japanese film just to read about Godzilla), but there are essays of interest in them all. Those, I think I can handle.

Why this interest, you might ask. Simple enough. My first real ideas about sex came via science fiction. No kidding. I lay most of the blame on Robert Heinlein, but Samuel Delaney and Ursula Le Guin carry some of it, too (the stacks hold at least 2 books just on her writing, but I didn't find them this trip. However, I now know they exist!). A lot of my ideas on sex, gender, love, and relationships came from all those books I devoured between the ages of 11 and 22. I swallowed a lot of science fiction, of all flavors, textures, and types. I was not what you'd call a descriminating reader back then. The only real standards I had was that the library stored the book on the SF shelves, or that the used book store put it in the cardboard flats on the front table where I could flip through the titles on the spine as fast as possible, pulling out whatever seemed the least bit interesting.

Now I'm curious as to what was REALLY going on in those books, and what ideas others saw in the SF I love so much. I think I'll start with Decoding Gender -- right after I read up on Godzilla.

*I also picked up The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo and The Man Who Created Sherlock Holmes: The Life and TImesw of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. I've already dipped into both of those.

The Midnight Disease

2010-03-17T11:10:00.001-04:00

I finally finished reading The Midnight Disease: The Drive to Write, Writer's Block, and the Creative Brain by Alice Weaver Flaherty.

I started the book last summer as part of my attempt to get over my own blocked writing. It took me a long time to read not because the book is difficult or boring. It is neither of those things. However, it is a book packed to bursting with ideas that require digesting. A doctor and scientist goes through her own mental illness, which causes changes in her relationship to writing. That leads her to explore how our brains allow us to write (or keep us from writing), among other things. This is a small book -- 307 pages, including extensive notes and index -- but is is incredibly readable. It is funny, poignant, insightful, and very, very quotable.

I intend to read the book again, this time with a highlighter, and to take notes. There's too much in this book for one reading, and all of it interests me.

I also added Don Quixote to my reading list. I've had the book on my shelf since I picked it up last year. Ambitious? Yeah. It's one of those books that sits on a lot of "good intention" lists.

Favorites -- Recent Reports on Progress Toward Fusion

2010-03-13T01:34:00.005-05:00

I thought I'd go through my own collection of erotic stories and tell you why I like them.

Recent Reports on Progress Toward Fusion is one of my very favorite erotic short stories. Written by Bill Noble, it was collected by Susie Bright in an edition of America's Best Erotica. It's currently available online at Clean Sheets Erotica Magazine.

At first glance, it's a very odd story with a very odd premise -- conjoined male twins are courted and introduced to sex by a randy young woman. The twins, who are joined at the hips and therefore have only one pair of legs and one set of genitals, are nevertheless very different individuals. It's a menage a trois story with a different geography.

Meg Kapinksi tells us the story of meeting these unusual brothers. She's smart, funny, honest, and horny, but she's not any ultra-mega-lighting babe. She's very human, which makes her dealings with Hannie and Steve Arenson believable. She's fascinated with the brothers, but not in a way a reader might find shallow, perverse, or distasteful. She deals with them both as a single entity and as two separate individuals. I had huge sympathy with the problems of their relationships as well as with their resolution. The first time I read the story, I cried happy tears at the end. I've read it many times since, and occasionally still get choked up. The poignancy is not contrived. The story has several laugh out loud moments as well as thoughtful ones.

Here's the kicker -- while the sex is hot, that's not what I love about this story. Oh no, this tale has a lot more than tail in it. It calls a lot of assumptions into question, questions about the nature of incest-- if two brothers share a single set of genitals, is masturbation incest? -- as well as the nature of polyamorous relationships. How do they deal with each other in terms of affection and sexuality? How do they have relationships at all, since the brothers are always together? Do either of them have privacy? Do the laws of our society have to stretch -- can they stretch, will the rest of us allow them to stretch -- to accommodate a situation which is not controlled by the brothers (they cannot be separated and yet want to marry)? If it can stretch for this situation, should they stretch for other situations which are not in a person's control (such as allowing same sex marriage or legal protection for poly families)?

I love a story that makes me think and this story makes me think. It's also pretty damn hot reading. Still, the thinking part lasts a long time. I highly recommend this one.

What Some People Will Bitch About

2010-03-10T17:29:00.002-05:00

Did you catch this little article about the Washington Post and the crap they are getting for posting a picture of two men kissing (as part of a story about gay marriage in D.C.) First, it's obvious some people do NOT have anything better about which they can bitch, so they had to spend some of their copious free time sending hate mail. Second, that's hardly the most inflammatory kiss between two men ever recorded -- I'd call that a peck, if anything. It's hardly likely to cause the children to all turn gay (because, of course, being around gay people makes you gay, just like being around straight people makes you straight, and if my eyes roll any harder I will go blind.)

Third, and most important, GET USED TO IT. It's not like gay people haven't always existed, and it isn't like they steal babies (well, no more than anyone else, and percentage-wise, that makes them a very tiny baby-stealing demographic). There are so many more important places to spend that energy (I could make a list, starting with, oh, stopping genital mutilation of girls and women, protecting those forced from their homes and livelihood by political upheaval, or, hell, serving once day a month in a soup kitchen here at home.)

I've come to understand that for so many people, "normal" means "familiar" and "familiar" means "what I and the people I know do." So that means "abnormal" means "not familiar" and "stuff people I don't know do" or even "stuff I want to do but then I wouldn't be like everyone I know."

The Future's So Bright

2010-03-09T11:42:00.001-05:00

Don't Believe the E-book Skeptics says Nathan Bransford, agent extraordinaire (well, at least, blogging and twittering). EBooks may not be that big a thrill now, but they will only get better. Being an ebook aficionado myself, I like to believe that. Right now, I like eBooks for their portability and ease. It's wonderful to travel somewhere carrying my ebook in its case, which is about the size of a medium hardback, but lighter, and know I have some 80 books to chose from inside. I look forward to the newer developments and the ability to one day be able to update my ebook reader with the same ease I update my MP3 player.

I can't deny there are downsides to current ebooks. They aren't very pretty, and I can't find every book I want in a digital format. I have worries about ebook sellers having more control over my books than I do. Issues with Digital Rights Management (DRM) concern me.

However, part of me refuses to give up my printed paper books. Part of that is I'm always aware that ebooks are device dependent, and devices are notorious for not working when you want them to work. They run out of power and can't be recharged. They get dropped or bumped or spilled on and their delicate inner workings cease to function. They become outdated (rather quickly) and have to be replaced with new technology. They can require specific formats of books to work. The books they contain are also limited in that I cannot share them with others easily.

There is also the beauty of books themselves, on several levels, and that's what
Jonathan Jones reminds us when he says Print is beauty bound – even in a digital age.

I get a very specific satisfaction from a book as a physical object. I can look at it, touch it, hold it. I appreciate the feel of good paper and binding. Some books are marvelous for their sheer size and presence -- something difficult for any electronic book to replicate. I imagine books as threads through time. A specific book I own can pass into other hands and other lives. I might make notes in it and start a conversation with those who read after me, even commenting on notes made by someone who had the book before me. I don't see those particular qualities of books ever becoming part of an ebook.

Important Information

2010-02-24T21:25:00.004-05:00

I bookmarked this to post here and then forgot. Words of wisdom for the aspiring erotica author from the remarkable Cecelia Tan

Realism in Fantasy (Sex) - Cecilia Tan

"This doesn't mean that what I need is a the literary equivalent of the porn film close-up penetration crotch shot. But what makes fantasy believable, whether it is sexual fantasy or a magical fairyland, is the details. The pathway to the castle is paved with lollipops? Okay, but what kind? All colors? What do they smell like? Does it crunch under your feet? Are they sticky? Does it never rain? Even the most fantastical concept can be made real by getting the details right."

I've had occasion to proof the occasional bit of erotica/intended erotica where this advice would have been invaluable. I'm keeping it handy for my own reference.

Oh, I should mention that Cecelia Tan is one of four erotica authors who grace my bookshelves with assorted volumes, some of which I spent quite some time hunting down. She's well nigh incomparable.

2010 Book list -- Book 1

2010-02-24T14:26:00.002-05:00

Wouldn't you know the first book I finish reading this year would not be on my list? And would be a comic book? Of a book I already know well???

Yeah, it's wrong.

However, that doesn't change how much I enjoyed Pride & Prejudice : Marvel Illustrated Edition.

Ok, yes, it's a graphic novel version of the original novel, but that's ok. It works. It's a wonderful way to achieve two things -- bringing classic literature to an audience who might otherwise think it is stuffy and boring, and opening up the wonders of comics to a female audience. After all, illustrated stories were not always the province of adolescent males, and more than superheroes work well in the medium.

Yes, the story is very, VERY abridged. Whole characters are deleted, scenes are reduced or eliminated, dialog is re attributed, and much of the social commentary is absent. That's only to be expected -- this book has only 120 pages, and they are covered with artwork. However, every word the characters speak is directly taken from Austen's writing. The main plot is there in full, and it's just as arresting and involving as ever.

Then we have the artwork. I'm not familiar with Hugo Petrus, although I have some idea I've seen his work (or work similar) before. It is graceful and lovely, perfectly suited for the story. Personal prejudice -- the color palate was far too orange/brown/sepia for my taste, but that's me and really it has nothing to do with the quality of the color art. What was even more fun were the covers from the individual issues. Done like covers for current womens' magazines and included at the end of the book, they cracked me up.

I was very pleased with the book and I loved the ideas that went into creating it (read the introduction). I'm very aware of the reasons I rarely enjoyed comics and why I only really appreciate specific ones today (yes, impossible boob/waist/hip ratios for females are part of it). It might be as close to Jane Austen as many people get. For others, it will be temptation to look into other classic books. Here's hoping they do some Dickens' stories (which might be the only way I ever finish Bleak House).

4 Stars

Real Artists

2010-02-19T17:19:00.004-05:00

I have a lot of admiration for other artists, especially those who take a moment to talk with me from time to time (hey, I'm self centered like that). So, I want to point everyone toward Jeremiah Tolbert. I've not had the chance to read his writing, but I've spent a few hours staring at his photographs and wishing I had money and wall space to hang prints in my house.

This one is one of my favorites. Windswept Magpies

And I think this one is highly feminine and sexual, considering it's all rock. Wave 1

Go look at those photos. Stare at them. And if you have some change left over from lunch or something, buy one or two and hang them in your house.

TV and Wonderful Writing

2010-02-18T14:18:00.002-05:00

I'm a big fan of the TNT show Leverage. It's the only episodic fictional tv show I watch. Shall I tell you why? Of course I shall! It's my blog and I'll rant if I want to!

First off, Leverage is a tremendous mix of good writing, good acting, excellent directing, and fine, fine special effects, sets, locations, and costumes. Second, it has a heavy geek component in the writing and production, with all that entails (in a good way).

Most of what I like, though, is rooted in the writing. Give a good actor mediocre material, and he can possibly use his skills to make something of it. Give that actor great material, and he will soar with it. Leverage has good, competent, reliable, and skilled actors who are able to fly quite high with the material they have. So, I want to talk about that material, that writing.

I know bupkis about scriptwriting (I have a book about it, but I haven't read it yet), but I'm a long time TV watcher. Good television, for me, has certain qualities. It has distinct characters who don't need costumes or even the actors for me to tell them apart -- I can identify them through what they say and how they say it. It has dialog that is nuanced and interpretable. It has stories that contain a lot of questions, some of which are answered in an episode, some of which take several episodes, and some which take a whole season or even multiple seasons to anwer. It is constructed. It has a shape. The shape is familiar, as it's the same shape a really good book series has.

I have to love a series that makes me think of favorite books.

Other shows I've loved usually didn't win me for writing. For example, my love for the Original Trek is, at least in part, because it was the only show of its kind around at the very moment I needed those ideas in my life. I still love it, but now with nostalgia. Also, it had, on average, better writing. Same with Next Generation, although rewatching episodes I find more that I dislike than I like -- but I'm very involved with those characters. M*A*S*H came along while I was still very young and seemed so adult and intelligent and funny, but -- again -- it was the characters more than anything else. I remember only a few individual episodes although I saw the show both first run and in repeated reruns. Few other TV shows loom large in my memory for any particular thing, although I consumed huge amounts of TV most of my life.

Leverage warrants from me something other than that adolescent fan love I had for the shows of my youth. It has a lot of the elements of my favorite shows (and movies, and books, and...) I find it very easy to speculate about the show and converse with other people about it endlessly. I admire the actors and their skill, but I find myself paying more attention to the way the story comes together, how the dialog works, how plot and puzzle combine to surprise me and keep me interested. The show sidesteps, skirts, or flat out avoids many of the little things that pulled some of the joy from earlier shows. It is a very adult show without being "adult" in the Rated R sex. It shocks in subtle ways, by pulling twists on the familiar. It really occupies my mind.

Like good books and excellent stories will.

In Which I Have Assorted Adventures

2010-02-13T22:32:00.003-05:00

3. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows.

21.If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the most minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It does not matter if you need anything from the store, it is just something you're supposed to do.

24.Florida is not considered a Southern state. There are far more Yankees than Southerners living there.

from Rules for Yankees

I'll get to those rules up there in a minute.

Yesterday was my 45th birthday. I'm very fond of museums (especially museum bookstores), so we decided to visit the DaVinci exhibit at the Atlanta High museum, and to include dinner, a trip to my favorite Borders store, and a meet up with a very good friend who lives in Atlanta. As always, we checked the weather forecast, and the prediction was for snow.

Eh, this is The South. How much snow can there be? We've both driven in snow before. What could happen? So, we drove down. We'd park near the Lenox mall, where there was a Marta station, take the train to the Museum, which is right on the line, and not worry about parking.

It started to snow when we pulled into parking lot. Snow is still enough of a novelty to me that I was excited. We took the train to the museum. It was really coming down then. I admit to a little surprise. "Atlanta" and "snow" are not two words I readily put into the same sentence. Still, aside from being a little slippery, the snow didn't bother me.

The Museum has a re-creation of the Sforza Horse in the front courtyard. While we had a permit to take pictures in the museum, the permit doesn't allow me to post any photos taken of exhibition artwork inside. I enjoyed it, though, and I'm looking forward to visiting for future exhibits.

When we got ready to leave, it still snowed. Yes, just a little more. Still, it wasn't significant. We took the train north and admired the snow covered landscape. Snow does make everything look magical. The only real negative was walking back to the car. We faced the wind, and the snow pelted us pretty solidly. Also -- COLD! Although, really, not as cold as it could have been.

So, we drove to the mall for some shopping, then to Borders to meet up with our friend and to let me spend my birthday money (on books, of course). It still snowed as we caravaned up to a little restaurant and spent a few lovely hours eating marvelous food. I had the best hot chocolate known to humankind. They coated the inside of the (large) cup with Nutella before pouring in the hot chocolate.

We said our goodbyes a bit after 10 pm. The snow had stopped and the sky cleared, so we expected an easy enough ride home. It's roughly a 2 hour drive between home and Atlanta, so we'd be home by midnight. Just right for a Friday. We had audio books, full tummies, and were satisfied with our day. We hopped onto Interstate 85 and drove out of Atlanta.

Now, here's where those rules I listed at the top come into play. About 30 minute into our drive, all traffic stopped. Well, we figured, it was entirely possible someone who didn't know how to drive when there might be ice on the road had slid into the ditch. Oh, well. Sad, but it happens. We waited with everyone else . No one could see the accident -- the back up was considerable. After about an hour with no sign of emergency vehicles and only a few movements in the lanes, we noticed people getting out of their cars and walking around. Smart phones being what they are, we used ours to search for more information. Ah, we learned, there had been a fairly bad accident, and it would be a while before it was cleared. Oh well. We listened to our audio book.

About midnight, we really wondered what was going on. We both had trouble staying awake, and kept nodding off. We saw some emergency vehicles, lights flashing, going up the other side of the road, but not much other traffic. More online searching. Oh, the accident was quite severe and would be cleared aroun 1:30. At 1:45 we checked again. No, now they said 2:30. A.M. Georgia Highway Patrol cars went up the emergency lane. A truck with a snow plow and a load of sand went by. Other people, tired of waiting, had also gone up that lane. Then traffic suddenly started moving, but oddly. Then we heard the loudspeakers.

The highway was closed.

And that's ALL we heard. Nothing else posted on the online sites, no other information from the patrolmen. We were funneled toward an exit ramp, but once there, we were held again. No one moved. Beyond the patrol cars, we saw long lines of mostly semis filling the road. Semis lined the grass along the ramp -- probably truckers who'd decided to get some sleep.

We got off the highway at about 4:30 am. A little GPS magic via the cell phone and we found a route we hoped would take us around the closed area. Roads were a little icy, so we drove slowly on various 2 lane Georgia secondary and tertiary highways. A little after 5, we found an open gas station/convenience store, refilled the car's tank, used the bathroom, and bought some snacks and caffeine. We were still about an hour from home.

So, we watched the sun rise as we drove. As we got near home and saw all the snow, and since we were awake anyway, we decided to stop to get some pictures.
We finally got home around 8 am and collapsed into bed until around 1 in the afternoon. We still have no idea what manner of decision making took place last night. We made it through on the secondary roads, being careful but not crazy careful, with one tiny slip that didn't even slow us (very much like driving in the rain). We spent several hours insulting and cursing at the unseeing GA officials who neither gave any information nor had any plan for getting people off the highway, nor were apparently equipped with sand or salt. Sand, I've noticed, does not spoil. No, it was much easier to keep people stuck in their cars in 20 degree weather, running out of gas and peeing on the median without even the courtesy of updating the recorded information on their phone number or a posting to their website. Apparently not enough people made it to the grocery store.

Oh, I was born in Florida, so I'm not REALLY a Southerner. I can also -- within limits -- drive through snow and on ice.

However, it was an interesting birthday.

Elitist

2010-02-10T18:26:00.003-05:00

I am a grammar and punctuation elitist. I admit this. I love and admire Lynne Truss and think she is doing important work in the world.

It isn't that I can't excuse the occasional slip. Typos happen, as do spelling errors and the occasional misplaced comma. I get that. No, really, I get that. Hell, I have committed errors in plenty over my life.

There are, however, occasional typos and slips, and there is persistent, uncaring ignorance. There's a whole atmosphere of "Who gives a shit?" that gets on my nerves and makes me throw things. I'll tell you who gives a shit if you misuse an apostrophe or stick commas into sentences where they don't belong. I'll tell you who gives a shit if your nouns don't agree with your verbs. Everyone who believes in clear, concise, unconfused written communication gives a shit. Anyone who wants others to take their writing seriously SHOULD give a shit.

It's not that hard, really. Sure, some rules of grammar are arcane and obscure, but they are not COMMON. I'm talking the basic stuff, the stuff you can learn in two hours reading The Elements of Style (a very slim book with a lot of white space). I'm talking basics here. You can learn them all with a minimal investment of time and brainpower, and they will serve you forever. You can't learn to use Facebook in that amount of time (well, they keep changing Facebook, but that's a whole other subject).

I see it all the time. Someone uses an apostrophe for a plural -- "Moes" becomes "Moe's" and "says" becomes "say's". Up to a point, it can be funny. After a while, it wears. It's pretty simple -- you use an apostrophe to show ownership or to indicate a contraction. Blogs means more than one blog. Blog's means something belonging to the blog. When in doubt, try phrasing it as an "of" statement -- the thing of the blog. You can even think of that apostrophe as standing in for the "of" if it helps.

Do we need to go over its and it's? Yeah, that's one of those common rule breakers, but it really is not that hard. It's is the contraction form of the pronoun it, a short form of saying "it is". Its is the possessive, meaning "the thing of it". Again, easy rule -- if you can replace "it's" with the phrase "it is", then you need the apostrophe. If you can't, you don't need it.

And shall we discuss the use of "less" and "fewer"? That's another one I hear screwed up by people I would expect to know better, especially politicians and newscasters. It gets messed up in all kinds of advertising. Let's go over it together, shall we? Less goes with a singular noun. Fewer goes with a plural noun. Simple -- less mouse, fewer mice. Less noise, fewer noises. Less ingredient, fewer ingredients. Is that really so hard? No, I didn't think so.

See, most of these 'bullshit grammar rules" are pretty damned simple. The hard ones hardly ever come up in an average day. They aren't bullshit, either. They are the rules to make our slippery, slidy, flexible and nuanced language into a tool for conveying precise and clear meaning to someone else. That's the whole point. If you aren't being clear in your writing, you're wasting time and effort. If you don't care, you're just wanking off and making me watch. Personally, I can find better things to do.

It comes down to this -- if you want me to take you seriously, show me you care about what you are saying and how you are saying it. Take a few minutes to proofread what you write. Check the details. I won't be confused about what you mean, and you won't look like an idiot.

Books

2010-02-07T13:54:00.004-05:00

I love SF/Fantasy and I have a lot, but as the years go by I fall further and further behind the current crop of goodies. Still, once in a while I peek up and take a look. I just saw this list from SF Signal.

At an AggieCon panel this weekend, panelists Ellen Datlow, Scott Cupp and Jayme Lynn Blaschke named an excellent selection of books released last year that are more than worth a look.

A Blood of Killers by Gerard Houamer

A Book of Endings by Deborah Biancotti

Boneshaker by Cherie Priest

British Invasion edited by Christopher Golden, TIm Lebbon, and James A Moore

Clockwork Phoenix 2: More Tales of Beauty and Strangeness edited by Mike Allen

Collected Stories by Lewis Shiner

Drood by Dan Simmons

Elegy Beach by Steven R. Boyett

Everland and Other Stories by Paul Witcover

Finch by Jeff VanderMeer

Fugue State by Brian Evenson

Gaslight Grotesque: Nightmare Tales of Sherlock Holmes edited by J. R. Campbell and Charles Prepolec

He Is Legend: An Anthology Celebrating Richard Matheson edited by Michael A. Arnzen Hellbound Hearts

Hespira: A Tale of Henghis Hapthorn by Matthew Hughes

Last Days by Brian Evenson

Lovecraft Unbound edited by Ellen Datlow

Madder Mysteries by Reggie Oliver

Midnight Picnic by Nick Antosca

Northwest Passages by Barbara Roden

Phantom edited by Paul Tremblay and Sean Wallace

Poe: 19 New Tales Inspired by Edgar Allan Poe edited by Ellen Datlow

Powers: Secret Histories by John Berlyne

Slow Sculpture: Volume XII: The Complete Stories of Theodore Sturgeon by Theodore Sturgeon

Tesseracts Thirteen: Chilling Tales of the Great White North edited by Nancy Kilpatrick and David Morrell

The Best of Gene Wolfe by Gene Wolfe

The Best of Michael Moorcock by Michael Moorcock

The Catacombs of Fear by John Llewellyn Probert

The City & The City by China Mieville

The Collected Stories of Roger Zelazny (Volume 1) by Roger Zelazny

The Collected Stories of Roger Zelazny (Volume 2) by Roger Zelazny

The Collected Stories of Roger Zelazny (Volume 3) by Roger Zelazny

The Collected Stories of Roger Zelazny (Volume 4) by Roger Zelazny

The Collected Stories of Roger Zelazny (Volume 5)by Roger Zelazny

The Collected Stories of Roger Zelazny (Volume 6) by Roger Zelazny

The Dead That Walk: Flesh-Eating Stories edited by Stephen Jones

The Domino Men by Jonathan Barnes

The Little Sleep by Paul Tremblay

The Manual of Detection by Jedediah Berry

The Windup Girl by Paolo Bacigalupi

Trips (Collected Stories of Robert Silverberg) by Robert Silverberg

I have a copy of Boneshaker waiting on the shelf, and I have assorted volumes of Zelazny, Silverberg, and Moorcock I want to read. I' ve also heard various reports about The Windup Girl. Anyone out there read some of these?

In Which I Totally Did Something

2010-02-06T01:02:00.002-05:00

I love me some Susie Bright. So when I saw a command go out via Twitter and Facebook to call her and sing her a love song for Valentine's day, I completely did it.

I freaked out the first time I called and chickened completely, because, well, she's a famous person and all and my lizard brain just does that. Also, I didn't drunk dial because, well, I don't get drunk (I go to sleep too fast). But I called back. A lot of people called her and it's great to hear them. It was just the coolest project.

I'm the one singing the Nat King Cole song.

Even More

2010-02-05T15:34:00.002-05:00

It's not going away, folks. If you read (and especially if you read eBooks), this is important stuff.

Here's the better part of today's rational thought. Tobias Buckell, once more.

It looks like other publishers are signing on to the agency model, too.

Considering that three months ago I happily paid $14.99 for an ebook I wanted, and that I recently purchased about $60 in audio books (of Jane Austen books, which are public domain -- I picked a voice I liked best), I can say quite honestly that I am ALL FOR a sliding scale for book pricing.

What I hear underneath the demands for All Books $9.99 is "I want my fix and I WANT IT NOW!" If you want a new, top of the list book -- which means it is in hardcover -- and you want it NOW, you pay a premium price. If you don't want to pay that price, you wait until the book is discounted, or until it appears in paperback. If you want it REALLY cheap, you wait until it isn't the Big New Book anymore, or you buy it used, or you borrow it from the library.

Just because it's an eBook doesn't significantly change this. I've looked at this and I've learned (to my surprise) that the printing and assembly of the book isn't THAT expensive. (I know something about the printing industry, has it happens, because I worked for 10 years for an industrial printing company. So, I asked.) Shipping and storage takes money, for certain, as does handling the book in the store, but not 50% of the retail price. The big part of the money in a book -- be it print or electronic -- is all before it hits the press, in paying the author, editing, proofing, formatting, advertising, etc. You know, paying PEOPLE for work they do making sure you aren't reading something full of typos, errors, and weird white spaces.

If you have never edited and proofed a 60,000 word document, don't even BOTHER telling me how easy it is. It is about as easy as giving birth, and nearly as messy.

So, read what Mr. Buckell put together. Read the links to the opposing side, too. And think about "entitlement" and how you'd feel if someone applied these ideas to your job and what you got paid.

Stunned and Amazed

2010-02-04T14:14:00.003-05:00

The more I read about the Amazon/Macmillan situation and the attendant issue of What Should eBooks cost, the more stunned I am at how many people view publishing in general.

I should state right out that I am a teeny, tiny, inconsequential speck in the publishing world. My one tiny foray has netted me a grand total of under $20.00 -- which means I have made $30 total lifetime for my writing.

Yet I have seen many people, wanna-be writers and just avid readers, stand firmly on their blogs, fists on hips, and declare that eBooks should be FREE. Yes, Free. Their reasoning ranges from the idea that all the costs involved in producing an eBook are consumed while creating the print version (what if it is an eBook Only publication?) to "I can't touch it, therefore it should be free" (a position that so stunned me with its stupidity that I removed the person from my regular reading).

The illogic keeps going when the argument swings around to declaring that eBooks will soon replace print-and-paper books. Everyone wants to write for free, yes? Everyone is willing to give their work away, yes? Writers just want to entertain readers out of the goodness of their heart. They will work for love.

Well, maybe -- up to a point, that's true. However, as most professional writers will readily admit, there's more to writing a book than just the author writing it. Editors are not so willing to spend their hours for free. Proofers and formatter/typesetters are also remarkably reluctant to work without compensation (and free books only go so far). For small presses, yes, there's a lot of work done for the love of literature, but -- trust me! -- there's still hope that one day the work will PAY. Love, as we all know, does not go far with the power company, the insurance company, or the person holding your mortgage.

A writer who wants to eat, live under a roof in a warm house, and wear clothes will have to have a job. If a writer has a job and still wants to write, the writing goes much more slowly -- there isn't as much time to do it. A writer with limited time produces less writing. If that writer should dare have a family, he or she will have even less time for writing.

Now, all that aside, why should someone produce anything for free, especially something as labor intensive as a book? Car mechanics don't work for free and no one asks them to. Chefs in restaurants don't cook for free. The waitress expects to be paid. Your doctor and dentist require payment from you for their services, as does your hairdresser and your drycleaner. Whatever it is you do, I'm sure you expect a paycheck for doing it. You may well do something that doesn't produce a product that can be grabbed with hands -- do you work in IT? What about customer service? Sales?

Jay Lake gives a pretty complete breakdown of what goes into making books, and John Scalzi tries to explain it as well. Tobias Buckell has explained it, too, bringing in additional points.

And I just saw this fly by on Twitter. Macmillan speaks -- and is very generous toward Amazon.

What the outcome of this will be, I do not know. As many have pointed out, publishing/book selling has never been a big-profit business. Most publishers run close to the bottom line. That's one reason I edit/proof under the contract I do, because even though I make very little, I am a proponent of quality literature and I want to contribute to its continuation. Yes, I want to be paid for my writing, and no, I don't want to add to my duties having to edit, proof, format, illustrate, manage and sell my writing. Those are not my strong suits. I know writers who do it and more power to them, but I can't. And I don't want to. I'd rather just write.

Update: Must Add This!

The End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)

Everything I wanted to say up above, but sooo much better!

More of More

2010-02-01T18:50:00.003-05:00

This just keeps getting more interesting.

A round up of other opinions

http://www.antipope.org/charlie/blog-static/2010/01/amazonmacmillan-other-perspect.html

http://scrivenerserror.blogspot.com/2010/01/a131a.html

for a legal point of view. I thought this was particularly interesting, even if a bit difficult for a layperson to grasp without flashcards and Cliff's Notes.

http://www.boingboing.net/2010/01/29/amazon-and-macmillan.html

And how it's all a tangle and a mess.

And Writer Beware! also shares thoughts and links.

http://accrispin.blogspot.com/2010/02/dispatches-from-ebook-wars-macmillan-vs.html

Those Crazy Amazon Folks!

2010-02-01T12:27:00.002-05:00

I spent my cold, icy weekend following the latest Amazon debacle. Here are my notes and observations.

___________________________________________________________

If you haven't heard, Amazon recently pulled all titles, both eBook and print, published by Macmillian over a dispute about how eBooks should be priced. I've read a good bit of commentary. This has a serious affect on all authors who publish through Macmillion (which owns Tor books, if you are an SF/Fantasy fan). Here's one of those authors giving what I think is a pretty fair explanation of the situation.

http://www.sfwa.org/2010/01/why-my-books...

Here's another

http://terribleminds.com/ramble/2010/01/...

And even more responses

http://www.sfsignal.com/archives/2010/01...

And a story from Publisher's Weekly.

http://www.publishersweekly.com/article/...

There's a lot more out there.

I'm a reader, a writer, and a consumer of books. This affects me. What does this mean to me? Is Amazon using its considerable weight to muscle into the publishing business? Is it standing up for consumers? Is it standing up for its own interests at the expense of everything else?

My personal take is this feels a LOT like last year's Amazonfail when hundreds of gay/lesbian themed books were suddenly 'deranked', which made them difficult to find in searches. Amazon made a non-apology statement and said it was all an accident. They then started reranking the affected books in response to outrage from the public and the authors who sales were hurt by the deranking.

I'm no longer comfortable with Amazon's size and ability to control what I read. I try not to use them (although I am an Audible customer, which was bought by Amazon) and search for my books through other sources.

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OOO there is more news. I'm trying to find an original link, but here's what I've found second hand.

Found via Twitter- an announcement from Amazon:

Dear Customers:

Macmillan, one of the "big six" publishers, has clearly communicated to us that, regardless of our viewpoint, they are committed to switching to an agency model and charging $12.99 to $14.99 for e-book versions of bestsellers and most hardcover releases.

We have expressed our strong disagreement and the seriousness of our disagreement by temporarily ceasing the sale of all Macmillan titles. We want you to know that ultimately, however, we will have to capitulate and accept Macmillan's terms because Macmillan has a monopoly over their own titles, and we will want to offer them to you even at prices we believe are needlessly high for e-books. Amazon customers will at that point decide for themselves whether they believe it's reasonable to pay $14.99 for a bestselling e-book. We don't believe that all of the major publishers will take the same route as Macmillan. And we know for sure that many independent presses and self-published authors will see this as an opportunity to provide attractively priced e-books as an alternative.

Kindle is a business for Amazon, and it is also a mission. We never expected it to be easy!

Thank you for being a customer.

I'm still looking for the actual source, but I'm just...just...

MONOPOLY? A publisher has a MONOPOLY over what it publishes? You'd think someone at Amazon would have a dictionary to look that word up. It's not even hard to spell.

I've read some rather hilarious interpretations of this letter from assorted sources.

Tobias Buckell is cracking me up with his response to their response.

http://www.tobiasbuckell.com/weblog/

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Just read someone coming to Amazon's defense.

http://jakonrath.blogspot.com/2010/01/se...

I think he's missing the point. I do not agree with him even as I do agree the lower costs of manufacture and distribution should make difference in ebook vs print book prices, but when comparing a $25 top list hardback to a $14.99 top list e book, the lower price IS THERE.

Where I see the problem is that books have long come in different formats with different pricing -- trades vs. hardbacks, racked sized books, the "paper" hardback (like Quality Paperback Books puts out, which are the size and have the cover of a hardback), the very cheap paperbacks with glued spines, tiny print and crappy paper. Different "styles" have always had different prices. That hasn't gone away.

Also, MacMillion doesn't require anyone to buy a $300 device to read their $9.99 books...

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Check Scott Westerfeld's blog.

http://scottwesterfeld.com/blog/?p=2138

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Yet more, with lots of links inside.

http://www.teleread.org/2010/01/31/amazo...

Lots of ideas floating amid the rhetoric and hyperbole. I imagine there is more screaming to come as these two businesses (Amazon and publishers) wrestle to make their profits the way THEY think they should. I don't buy for one minute that either of them is really acting as a consumer advocate -- that goes against the tenets of capitalism, to want to sell something at a price lower than the cost of making the item/providing the service.

One of the thoughts that keeps popping up I think showed in Buckell's post -- part of the argument that isn't so obvious is the TIME element (that "windowing" term Westerfeld used) and the idea that some books are PREMIUM books -- that is, considered "better" or in higher demand than others, therefore able to command a higher price at first release. It's pretty much standard operating procedure that if something is New and Shiny, and you want it first, you will pay top dollar for it. You aren't so much paying for the item as for the opportunity to have it first. People who don't want to spend that money wait. They spend time rather than money.

Ahh well, I continue to watch this unfold.

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And yet more

http://whatever.scalzi.com/2010/02/01/al...

Mr. Scalzi has a LOT to say on the topic, as it happens, and it's worth roaming his latest entries (hell, it's worth roaming ALL his entries).

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And a little more

http://www.lilithsaintcrow.com/journal/2010/02/good-news-and-amazonfail-wrapup/

In Which I Am in Mid-Learning Experience

2009-10-21T18:07:00.002-04:00

I have recently (and most gratefully) taken on duties as a submissions editor and proof reader for a small press. It's not the best paying gig I've ever had, but it is incredibly rich in learning opportunities. There's nothing quite like seeing the submitted-for-publication work of others to give one a new view on one's own writing. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever write again. If I do, I think this will change my writing forever.

Thus, I have to share with you what I'm learning.

1) Proof your query letter even more carefully than your manuscript. It is the first impression, the start of your job interview. Even a tiny error there is the equivalent of spinach between your front teeth AND a zit on your nose. Misuse a word, and you've audibly farted.

2) Do your damnedest to remove any passive verbs from your first paragraph. Under no circumstances allow one in your first sentence. For the second and third paragraphs, depending on length, allow no more than two each. From then on, use them like you're on a limited budget -- spend them only where you have to, save them when you don't. Passive verbs are a thick, gooey glaze over your story, a heavy curtain on the action, a great distance between the reader and the characters.

3) Don't allow the rule about budgeting passive verbs to make you ridicule your active ones. Truth is, some things just ARE, and you should let them BE. It's tricky, but essential. If you must, go through and underline all your To Be form verbs in red. Then think about them.

4) Have someone who does not love you -- maybe someone who doesn't even like you much -- read your manuscript. View it as dental work, necessarily painful. You don't have to listen to everything they say, but you should give it all due consideration. Get your ego as far out of the way as you can manage while you are doing it. Every time your ego winces, make the change and see how it looks.

5) READ BIG HUNKS OF THE MANUSCRIPT OUT LOUD. Either record yourself or have someone else listen. If it sounds arch, stilted, awkward, confusing, or silly out loud, it reads that way, too.

6) No substitute exists for knowing and using the basics of punctuation and grammar. Your talent will NOT shine through your ignorance.

7) Go back and read the bit about passive verbs. I'm completely serious about that.

8) If you, the author, have to tell me how a character is feeling or thinking, you have failed. FAILED. Get out of the way and let the CHARACTER SHOW ME.

Ok, that's enough for now. I ponder seriously how many of these sins I have committed in my own writing. Perhaps this editing work is penance. If it is, I ask forgiveness and I will go forth to sin no more. Next time I am ready to submit something, I will reread this list.

Old Movie Love

2009-09-11T23:33:00.003-04:00

Found myself in the position of explaining to someone why I liked Casablanca so much, and why so many people think it's a classic. I kind of liked my answer, so I thought I'd post it here.

It's kind of true about liking anything that isn't familiar, that comes from a different era or culture or even point of view. They aren't comfortable -- we don't understand what things mean or why they are or aren't important.

I've have a few friends who are much younger than I am (between 18 and 20 years difference) who have been exploring my classic movie collection with me. I've hooked a couple into the whole classic movie thing, but it took some work -- a lot of things about these movies are based on the times in which they were made. I know and like them because I'm interested in history, especially from a cultural perspective. So, I look things up. I do a little research because it interests me -- it's not an obsession, but I like knowing. I watch classic movies over and over. I was able to share what I knew with my friends and explain things that they didn't get. We even watching a couple of documentaries about the censorship and the Hayes code that controlled movies until the 1960s, which made a LOT of things more clear to them -- those old movies didn't have the freedom to just SHOW things that we now take for granted. It all had to be hidden and coded, and the audience had to know the code to understand what was really going on.

Casablanca is certainly one of my favorites, but I didn't really like it until I learned more about the time in which is was made. When I was in my late teens and saw it, it was just some hokey black and white movie.

What makes it a great movie to me now isn't one or two elements, but how everything comes together -- like how different flavors in a meal come together as opposed to just one or two that really stand out. If you take Casablanca apart, it really doesn't look like much at all -- a romantic thriller set in World War II. It seems like such a cliche now because it's so much a part of our culture -- it's been homaged and referenced and parodied to pieces. But that's the point -- all that stuff exists BECAUSE the movie exists. Before Casablanca, we didn't have those classic lines or images.

We tend to accept contemporary films because we already know much of what shapes and forms them -- we know the tropes, the cliches, the codes, the in-jokes and references. 60 years from now, those movies will be just as awkward and unfamiliar to new audiences as the films of 60 years ago are today.

Let me try to tell you about the movie and why it has classic status -- in my very unofficial opinion. If you really want to know more, try checking the Wikipedia article on it. I don't say that it will make you like the movie, but it might give you more to use to 'get' it.

Ok -- what I see in Casablanca. The world is falling into the biggest war ever. People are fleeing Europe any way they can, and many of them have to come to Casablanca, a desert oasis, a place on the edge of the storm, to try to escape (If you know anything about WWII, you might know that the US did not take all refugees who tried to enter it. Some of the stories are horrific.)

Then you have Rick and his place in Casablanca. Here's a man who wants to be neutral. He doesn't want anything to do with the world and he wants the world to leave him alone. He doesn't care and he demonstrates this pretty plainly -- how he treats his current girlfriend, how he lets the police drag away and kill Ugarte and how he pockets those letters of transit -- doesn't bat an eye. But he has people around him who are loyal to him, so maybe he's not a complete asshole. So he's complicated and interesting. He knows there's a storm and people in huge, life threatening trouble, but he says he doesn't care. He's a character with conflicts and that makes him interesting.

Then, a woman shows up who blows holes in his wall of cool. She's running from the storm of war with her husband, who is an important leader against the Nazis and is thus hunted by them. Victor Lazlo is a Typical Hero, and it's a matter of importance in the movie that he survives, but he's obviously in danger and needs to escape. That's more or less cliche and not that interesting. But, his wife, Ilsa, isn't the typical Love Interest. She obviously has a past with Rick, and Rick is bitter about it, Why? She's also obviously loyal to her husband and yet still in love with Rick. Why? More conflict.

Then we have Renault, the local Captain of Police, a rather weasely fellow with loyalties only to himself. He's willing to work for the Nazis because that's what will serve him at the moment. He's unpredictable and he provides a fair bit of wry comic relief. We don't know what he will do in any situation except that we are pretty sure he will do what will be best for himself.

Major Strasser as the Nazi commander is a pretty simple bad guy, but he provides the "push" for everyone else. He represents all the danger of the world war, that swirling storm driving everyone out of Europe.

So all these people are set up in this volatile situation. We've got a lot of questions and contradictions going on, and that makes the story. These people have different goals and the goals conflict. I get involved with how these threads untangle and resolve -- learning why Rick is bitter, why Ilsa is conflicted, and watching how these characters change through the movie. Rick regains his idealism and hope to care about the world again. Renault finds something to value outside of himself. Ilsa serves as a catalyst for Rick and a pivot point for the story.

Ok, that's all kind of meta. What I really love about this movie is the dialog -- the lines that sum up so much in a few words. I love especially the role music has in the movie, how we get to see it as a conveyance for memory. Then there's the black and white film itself. Black and white film isn't just a lack of color. It is an art form in itself, so much so that modern directors go back to it still. When there is no color, light is more important, and so is shadow. It means much more. Really, look at how the scene where Ilsa and Rick reunite, how the light falls on her. The shadows are sometimes helpful places of concealment, or soft and warm, and other times they are threatening and dangerous.

This movie is a classic because of all those references I talked about before, too. Dozens of movies harken back to the image of Rick and Ilsa saying goodbye at the airfield. You don't even need to have seen the movie -- if you see a scene with a guy in a fedora and trench coat, and a woman in a coat standing in the fog with a plane nearby, tears on the woman's cheeks and him saying "Here's looking at you, kid", you already know everything that's going on. When you hear the line "I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship", you already know there's a uniting of previously incompatible or even opposing forces going on. (check the list of quotes here). Even the misquote of "Play it again, Sam" -- which wasn't in the movie but is associated with it -- is used so often it's a cliche.

That's what makes it "classic" -- that images and words are just part of our culture. We may not even know where they come from, but we already know what they mean because we've seen them so often.

Let me give you a more modern example. You've probably seen both the first Matrix movie and, for example, Shrek. That "Bullet time" scene was quoted -- in parody -- in Shrek as well as a dozen other movies and TV shows. It's short hand -- we know just from a couple of seconds of "Bullet time" that a character is about to deliver major ass-whupping. We don't even have to see the whole fight to know what will happen. I expect it may stay in our cultural lexicon and become another piece of short hand.

Casablanca is full of that kind of shorthand reference. That's one of the things that makes it a classic.

Ruminations on Fame (of which I have none, so I'm speculating)

2009-08-13T11:48:00.003-04:00

The nature of celebrity and fame is a curious thing when I think about it. Imagine -- hundreds, even thousands of people feel a connection to one person. They think about the celebrity. They watch whatever the celebrity does. They read about him/her, listen to him/her sing or talk, buy images on t-shirts, or purchase action figures. They go places just to see the celebrity, maybe get a picture or shake a hand. That's a lot of mental and emotional energy directed toward one person.

Now, think of the person getting all that attention. Even a very grounded, very practical person is going to find him or herself changing in reaction to it. First, he or she (I'm defaulting to he now, for shortness) is outnumbered considerably. How can one person possibly respond sufficiently to so many others? It has to be some kind of high to be getting all that attention, of course, and perhaps the celebrity really wants to give something back to show appreciation and gratitude. But it's not physically possible. Even if the celebrity's energy is boundless, his time is not. The more people who admire the celebrity, the less chance he has of giving anything back individually. And how can a celebrity give even a small portion back and have anything left for those people he lives and works with every day?

Consider also those people -- a small number, but worth considering -- who don't think about this equation and who have developed their relationship to a level where they feel justified in asking the celebrity for more return. I'm not necessarily talking about stalkers and scary psychos, but mostly normal people who forget boundaries and become angry and indignant when their favorites don't answer letters, pause to talk to them, pose for pictures, etc. Even if they don't actually threaten the celebrity, they can impede him or cause unpleasant (energy draining) scenes. So, celebrities often have people around them to provide a buffer layer -- to maintain a safe and necessary distance.

The Internet, I think, blurrs up the boundaries more than the old fan magazines, TV interview shows, or personal appearances ever did. It allows celebrities to have more contact with fans while still providing a buffer layer. It also creates an illusion of intimacy that muddles up the boundaries even more. I find watching these interactions extremely interesting.

In my own interactions with celebrities -- I've met a few of greater or lesser levels of fame, but they were all people about who'd I'd spent time thinking -- I've always been conscious of those boundaries, sometimes to the point of being reluctant to take advantage of an opportunity. Any time I get a bit of attention from one of these people, it delights me, because I have that equation in mind. It takes very little -- recently, on Twitter, Brent Spiner retweeted and responded to something I'd said. It took him perhaps 10 seconds to do it, but to me it was enormous. Not out of proportion -- I don't imagine us being life long friends or anything -- but still, it was a small return on all the hours I'd spent in admiration.

Obviously, this is a far more complex subject that goes beyond just these ideas. This is just how I think about it, and how I deal with the strange equation, and even how I regard those folks who are celebrities TO ME (in that I think about them and admire them, but they have little or no idea who the hell I am). Perspective and balance is what it takes.

In Which I Try Not To Scare Away The Muse

2009-08-03T09:53:00.002-04:00

The last 18 or so months have been full of change (understatement). Part of that change was losing track of my writing and finding myself unable to write. Thinking I couldn't write anymore scared me a lot, which naturally made trying to write even harder. All those other changed in my life have left me sensitive to the usual clawing doubts about my writing, my talent, even my worth and purpose in existing. I work on it daily.

So, chapters 21 and 22 are finished. This story -- and I repeat again, I never intended to write this particular story, I am not sure why I am writing it, but damnitall I'm going to finish it -- crossed the 100,000 word mark and is, I'm certain, a good 10,000 words from the end point. Right now, I'm not absolutely certain what that end point will be, despite strong suspicions. My main character has shown remarkable stubbornness in clinging to to personal blocks, fears, and behaviors already demonstrated in the story not to be useful. I've had to be clever in getting around all those to push things forward. I've done a lot of 'backstory' creation, a lot of daydreaming through scenes, and a lot of just staring. For all those 100,000 words on the page, there are easily 5000 more words that will never be seen in my notes and journals. It's the not knowing that pulls me on to finish. Also, it helps to be a little in love with the characters, and it helps to be writing something with a dictated structure -- that is, the nature of the story requires a particular kind of ending, and oh BOY am I glad of that.

I am facing the facts that, at its heart and fingertips, Temporary Position is a romance novel -- contemporary, a bit kinky, and not conventional, but still a romance novel. It's a fantasy, and it must have a happy ending, although the happy ending is likely to be a little problematic in and of itself. I wrestle with that, too. I worry about it. I find myself torn between the story I want to write and what I imagine an editor demanding I change in order to publish.

That imaginary editor is the one who gets in the way of the writing, which is why my writing is so slow these days. I'm doing my best to evict a whole editorial Board of Directors from my head because, damn, those bitches are bossy! I can't write a word without it going through the Committee on Verb Approval, and the Committee on Sentence Structure, and the Committee on Will This Sell? Everyone has a suggestion. Everyone wants in on my supply connections before I have a chance to do any work. It's a QA system gone wild, and the incoming inspection crew won't let anything in without three signatures, a special stamp, and approval from the president.

Some days, all that happens is I walk away from the keyboard to do something really exciting, like take out the trash or clean cat boxes or even match socks, because those are things I can do without any instant critique from the interior mob.

Today, however, I plan to start on Chapter 23, do an assignment for the Fiction Writing class I'm taking, and a buttload of critiques I really don't want to do. I plan to write.

Oh, and clean cat boxes, because, well, the cats insist, and they do run things around here.

In Which I Get Extra Mileage From a Review

2009-07-02T11:02:00.002-04:00

I’ve watched a bit of pornography in my time, oh yes I have. I don’t expect a lot from porn movies – their purpose is specific and if they cause arousal, they’ve done their job. Sometimes a porn movie can be unintentionally funny – I have one or two of those, movies from the 80s that went off the ridiculous deep end and are good for a laugh (if nothing else). I’ve fast forwarded through sex scenes just because high speed sex is giggle inducing, and if you aren’t getting hot, getting a laugh is second best. I’ve laughed at self conscious acting, at bizarre special effects, and especially at sock-puppet dialog. There are rules for watching porn – don’t look for snappy or thoughtful dialog, and don’t expect a plot. You’re there to watch the sex.

Never before have I watched a porn flick where I fast forwarded through the sex scenes because THEY GOT IN THE WAY OF THE PLOT!

Yes. I said “plot”. I know, “porn” and “plot”, despite alliteration, are not generally compatible words. But SpaceNuts by Wicked Pictures (NWS link) has a plot. It’s a reasonably good parody of the science fiction movie genre, with the most ribbing given to Star Wars (although any good geek can catch references to many other movies -- not all, I suspect, intended by the writer/director.) It’s not quite Mel Brookes (and, of course, the title Space Balls was already taken), but it’ll do. I won’t spoil a thing by telling you the skinny plot -- you have your basic Princess of a planet with her android manservant running from the Evil Overlord and henchwoman, Dark Witch. Said Princess takes refuge with a space faring scoundrel/hero, gets captured, gets rescued, gets captured again, gets rescued again, and it all ends with the Princess and the Hero getting it on, and the Evil Overlord being bitched out by Dark Witch in a life pod hurtling through space. We’ve seen it before.

A.B. and I picked it up because a good review made it sound unusual and above average. We speculated they might do something interesting with aliens or take advantage of the whole science fiction oeuvre to experiment. Plus, it was supposed to have good production values. So, we settled down for an evening of porn and play.

Instead, we started watching the movie.

The first sex scene – Princess Hubba Hubba, she of the incredibly inflated boobs, and some random wooden faced dick-on-a-body performed the first of what would turn out to be a series of almost identically-scripted sex scenes. Chemistry between the actors was nil. We skipped to the next scene, where the android, Jeeves, is hitting on a new robot in town -- a small R2D2-ish machine. Mercifully, we only see the before and after of that one. This would be the pattern for the whole movie – skip the sex, get to the story! It was almost as if someone took a for-fun movie and spliced vapid sex scenes in.

As actors and actresses go, this group wasn’t bad. At least medium pretty, male and female, and the leads delivered their lines effectively, with barely a stumble or a drop from character. The girls tended toward silicon perfection, with shaved or waxed pubes and breasts too large to be that perky (one woman was painted blue. ENTIRELY blue. Yikes!). Body makeup helped because no one had butt pimples. The guys ran toward porn standard – big dicks, reasonable pecks (or they never took their shirts off) and a lot of tattooing. A few minor roles would have been better as nonspeaking, and they missed some golden opportunities to play off the actors’ natural failings. One gay bear-with-a-feather-boa joke with the android, pretty week. The hero made me think of a mix between Kurt Russell and Huey Lewis.

Plastic coated Jeeves had a good 1/3 of all memorable lines in the film. Dominatrix Bitch on Rockets, Dark Witch, got the majority of the snark and nastiness, and she played it well. The wart faced Evil Overlord, a weak-minded, ineffectual whiner, weaseled and cooed his way through his role for excellent effect (we are spared ever seeing him naked or getting any sexing up, for which I was grateful – that prosthetic mask make up would NOT have worked full body.) Princess Hubba Hubba and Buzz Starfolker (didja get the joke? So did I, long before the 30^th repetition) were lesser lights in the production, despite being the heroine and hero of the story. Buzz, curiously enough, showed a lot of reluctance to do the nasty with all the women pawing at him, and it showed every time one of them stripped him down and jumped on him.

The movie even did decent – if inexpensive – special effects. Space ships, explosions, lasers – all good. A number of rubber monster costumes for aliens roamed the set and weren’t distracting. The sets worked nicely. You could tell money and effort went into creating the settings and action for the film. It wasn’t Hollywood level by any means – more like a high end fan or student effort. Even the dialog was reasonably good and usually well delivered by the actors. Clever jokes, snappy come backs, and a few really memorable lines made the film watchable. Oh, and the Ron Jeremy cameo – priceless!

But – and this is a big but – they kept interrupting the movie to have sex scenes! None of the scenes held interest for either of us. They ran along the same lines – oral, usually female on male. Yoga/dancer fucking. Reverse Cowgirl. Something sideways and doggie style. Face shot. Variations included a f/f/m scene, missionary, and male on female oral, woman standing. Of course, everything was done for the camera and the scenes were about as sensual as clipping toe nails. Distant, cold, even disinterested – I didn’t believe the actors wanted to be there, much less be bumping uglies. Of all the scenes, only 3 actually moved the plot or characters along, and there were at least 7 sex scenes – I stopped paying attention because, really, they just got in the way. Some were downright annoying. The director apparently owns a set of cards, each with a sex act. He shuffles them and draws one a time, and that’s the order things happen. Of course, he only has about 8 cards. It is amazing how boring the sex was when it’s one cliché after another.. Seriously, we used the highest forwarding speed. The big excitement was in watching for the dialog to start up again.

As porn films go, this barely counts in my world. Naked or semi naked, with giant boobs or painted blue, covered in tattoos or wearing black lace, it was all tab A/slot B interaction, as if they learned about sex from a manual on stereo assembly. I fear mostly that young geek boys will watch this thing and think that’s how sex is done.

SpaceNuts isn’t a bad film. Really, it’s not. Cutting out most of the sex scenes and editing down the few essential ones would improve it greatly. Even unedited, I could see making a great party game – just give everyone a set of those 8 cards and have them call out which card is on screen, and the first person to identify takes a drink. As a mid level, clever comedy/parody, it’s pretty good. As a porn film, though, it’s nearly useless – all het male oriented, clichéd, and BORING. You’ll want to watch it with your remote in your hand.

In Which I Bemoan a Lack of ..Anything

2009-06-26T12:56:00.002-04:00

Not posting here in a long while.

Not writing. Trying, not happening. Working on it, working on it every day, but I've managed to twist myself into some pretty good knots and they take some picking apart.

Taking a class in writing. Deadlines can be inspirational.

Day of Silence

2009-04-15T16:38:00.001-04:00

The National Day of Silence brings attention to anti-LGBT name-calling, bullying and harassment in schools. Each year the event has grown, now with hundreds of thousands of students coming together to encourage schools and classmates to address the problem of anti-LGBT behavior.

http://www.dayofsilence.org/content/getorganized.html

More Thoughts on Amazon

2009-04-13T11:19:00.002-04:00

Wow, this thing has taken on new life. Stories are appearing everywhere.

The one thing I'm thinking is about an idea someone floated on Live Journal, that Amazon might have been attacked by a hate group who used Amazon's flagging system to trigger some kind of automatic software. Amazon isn't saying anything, but I've heard more than one software problem explanation.

It carries about as much weight as an across-the-board censorship action from Amazon, especially when the books deranked are considered on whole (especially when only specific editions are deranked). Someone with a concentrated anti-Queer agenda might have gone through a particular list of books.

I don't know. There isn't much information and Amazon isn't saying anything. Of course, at this point anything they could say would sound wrong. Yet Amazon has a long reputation as a liberal company.

Perhaps there are many more victims along this road. I want more information.

Amazon Deranking -- censorship or protection?

2009-04-12T22:12:00.000-04:00

Have you caught the weekend furor over Amazon's "new policy" of "deranking" publications it deems "adult content"? It seems this is now Amazon policy, but it is not administered in an even handed manner (as discussed by some of the posts below). Deranking means a publication does not show up in general topic searches nor comes up at the top (ranking shows how many copies of a publication have sold compared to all others, basically popularity). Titles for GBLT publications, with or without explicit sexual content, seem disproportionately 'deranked' compared to other forms of 'adult content'.

Read these links for more information.

The original post: http://markprobst.livejournal.com/15293....

http://rydra-wong.livejournal.com/174790...

Dear Author post 1 http://dearauthor.com/wordpress/2009/04/...

Dear Author post 2 http://dearauthor.com/wordpress/2009/04/...

The LA Times book blog http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/jacketco...

There are more and more posts popping up everywhere.

I believe that a retail organization has the right to sell or not sell whatever it likes. What bothers me about this particular move is that Amazon is still selling these publications (and making profit from it) while at the same time refusing to treat the books as it does any other publication. It has not taken the option of, say, marking publications as "adult" and giving consumers the option of not SEEING these in their search results (giving consumers the choice) but has done this rather arbitrary thing to, supposedly, protect the consumer.

I really didn't know I needed protection like this, myself. Does it really protect anyone, or just penalize authors? Is it censorship or a response to customer demands?

I've canceled my advance orders . I had some feedback to send to an Amazon vendor, in which I indicated I was no longer looking for books via Amazon. I sent an email expressing my thoughts on the matter.

I am very disappointed in Amazon's recent "de-ranking" policy for supposed 'adult content' publications.It is ill conceived at best.Even the intimation that a retail outlet of Amazon's status and influence is indulging in any kind of censorship is heinous.If you do not wish to sell such publications, do not sell them, but do not attempt to profit from them while at the same time refusing to treat them as any other publication, creating a sort of 'ghetto'. Such "protection" is mere pandering and hypocrisy, shameful in what was once a respected Internet business.

I have not yet canceled my account, but I am considering it seriously.The loss of just my business is meaningless, but I shall do my best to encourage others via my blogs and contacts on reader-friendly sites.

I'm not sure about the source of this -- is it policy or a very selective 'glitch'? Either way, I think it's very questionable behavior from Amazon. Barns & Noble, here I come!

Can we say YAY!?

2009-04-07T11:31:00.001-04:00

Vermont Grants Equal Marriage Rights

Now, can we just get this done and over with?

In Which Things Are Happening

2009-04-02T11:04:00.002-04:00

I don't want to jinx anything, but Chapter 20 is a memory, Chapter 21 finished up yesterday, and now I'm working my way into Chapter 22.

I can't SAY how excited I am that the writing is still happening. I was really concerned there. NaNoWriMo failure really bothered me.

And now I have two more stories demanding I write them, one of which is reasonably kinky. Also, an older story I never wrote but worked out mentally (good daydream material) is insisting I do something with it. I'm just making notes for now, because, dammit, I want to finish this novel before starting anything else. ONE NOVEL. Come on, muse! I appreciate the inspiration, but can we focus here?

Also -- how is it I never found Laura Antoniou's weblog all these years? I've missed so much! So many archives to read...and I can't right now, I must WRITE.

Long Absence

2009-03-17T21:01:00.002-04:00

I wish I could say I've been busy writing, but that would not be true. I've been busy thinking about writing, but actual writing has been sketchy at best. It's just not happening.

Working to change that.

I Support Support Shirts at BradWalsh.com

2008-12-11T11:00:00.000-05:00

Don't support Urban Outfitters.

I Support Support Shirts at BradWalsh.com

Suit forces eHarmony to offer gay dating service - Yahoo! News

2008-11-20T08:53:00.000-05:00

Suit forces eHarmony to offer gay dating service - Yahoo! News

NaNo Snippet 1

2008-11-08T10:38:00.005-05:00

Still churning away slowly and far behind quota, but things are beginning to piece together. Here's a tiny snippet, unedited and fresh.

"I'll do what ever you want, if you don't hurt me. If you don't let the others hurt me." Jory's stomach twisted and clenched. He gritted his teeth and swallowed fear and nausea down.

Sams lifted his right eyebrow. "Anything?" Jory nodded. The man stared at him, almost through him. "Anything. Meaning…"

"Anything." Jory gulped the recycled air. "Look. I was just about born in JuvRe." His voice quavered. "I'm not stupid. I can trade." The shaking stopped as he kept talking. "I'm making an honest deal. You don't hurt me, don't let me get hurt, and I'll do whatever you want."

Sams nodded, letting silence build up for several minutes. Jory saw nothing like interest in his face. "Why me, kid? Why not Stavros or Higgins? They're open, too."

Jory's mouth tightened and his nose wrinkled. "Huggins stinks, plus he's a half-assed pilot. He just follows whoever is lead. And Stavros…he's friends with Grunner." The boy shoved his hands into the pockets of his too-large, Company issue trousers. "I'm a good nav. I'm new, but my scores are top. You'll earn points. I promise, no screw ups." Sams just watched him. "Well? Is it a deal?"

"Take off the pants."

Congratulations

2008-11-05T00:32:00.003-05:00

Our President Elect.

Here's to the next four years.

Nano Update 1

2008-11-03T23:07:00.003-05:00

Not having a strong start this time. Current word count is only 2,582, which is about half of where I should be. Perhaps it is because this is my first experience writing a planned story. Usually I start somewhere and see where I end up. This time I have a roadmap and the whole thing is more about how I travel than about where I end. I already have a strong idea of that.

But it's early yet. I've had slow starts before.

Preparing to be Crazy

2008-10-30T10:04:00.002-04:00

I swiped this from my writing group.

Two more days, and NaNo Begins -- time for a checklist! Remember, preparation now will save time later (and possibly keep your story from going off the rails).

Is your (sacred, holy) writing area sectioned off, cleared of distractions, marked with warning signs, encircled with razor wire? Do you have a good chair, a good table or desk, or a good spot on the couch? Have you mapped out an emergency 'other' spot, just in case?
Have you laid in food supplies, stockpiled take-out menus, and squirreled away special treats?
DO YOU HAVE ENOUGH CAFFEINE ON HAND and your lucky cup?
If writing by hand (yes, there are some who do) -- Enough pencils/pens in one spot you can find? Pencil sharpener and erasers handy? Healthy supply of paper in some sort of organizing device (binder, spiral bound notebook, folder)?
If writing on a computer, have you prepared a back-up medium (Flash drive, disk, print-as-you-go) in case of computer failure? Is there ink/toner in your printer? If the worst happens, have you arranged access to another computer?
Have all family/friends been informed and, if not enthusiastically supportive, at least threatened/bribed into cooperation?
Do you have a handy list of names for instant characters and locations? Do you have a link to a random name generator? How about a back-up fantasy name generator?
Do you have links or easy access to reference materials like a dictionary, a thesaurus, an atlas, or something else related to your story? Have you marked sections in those books so you can find them when it's 1:32 am and you are in the middle of an important scene, and you CAN'T REMEMBER that very cool thing you read about and wanted to use?
Have you connected with other NaNItes for commiseration and reminders to come up for air? Do you have writing buddies to keep you going or loan you some braincells?
Do you have all your notes, preps, scraps and idea napkins where you can get to them easily? Do you have a portable notebook to carry with you so that when you have that great idea at work, you can write it down and take it home?

Ok, then you're ready. On your mark! Get set! GO! (and good luck!)

In Which I Start the Crazy

2008-10-27T14:08:00.004-04:00

Starting Saturday, I'll be throwing myself into NaNoWriMo -- National Novel Writing Month. I've done it before -- I completed one novel, almost completed another, and didn't finish two years (my first year, my ideas ran out, although I may revisit what I cooked up. My third year, real life demanded too much time and I didn't make the word count).

This year, my plan is to pull some stuff out of my writing journal and see how smutty space opera fairs. I'll post snippets of it as I go along.

In Which I Share Gathered Wisdom

2008-10-17T21:36:00.004-04:00

To write is to be critiqued. Everyone has an opinion on what you write -- they like it, they don't like it, they think it would be better if... Soliciting feedback is part of being a writer (writers who don't want someone else to read their work and give them some feedback are masturbating on the pages, not writing).

Over many years, many classes, many workshops, and many, many critiques, I've put together a pair of lists all about critique. I don't claim to have originated any of this stuff -- I've just gathered it, formatted it, and put it on a page. As I learn more, I update it. Most importantly, I share it.

The How-To of Critique

I compiled the following over several years of writing workshops, creative writing classes, and seminars for writers, and with the help and suggestions of many readers,writers and teachers. I offer it freely and I welcome the suggestions of others.

How do I critique someone else’s work?

Critiquing someone else’s writing can be daunting. What do you say? How do you avoid hurting feelings? How do you make your comments worthwhile?

1) Critique only when you are asked. Resist volunteering to make comment unless you are in a workshop or classroom situation. Critiquing someone’s writing is like critiquing someone’s children and not to be taken lightly. If possible, ask the writer what kind of critique he or she wants -- a close reading or edit, proofreading, a reader's response, or even just encouragement -- and be honest with yourself and the writer about whether you can provide the appropriate critique.

2) Critique only when you feel you can. If you have a reason not to critique someone's work, be it a personal dislike of the author or a lack of time, say so. Unless in a workshop or classroom situation, do not allow yourself to be forced into a critique.

3) Remember that the goal of every writer is to communicate effectively to a reader. You can already look at a work from that perspective – how successful was the writer in communicating his or her ideas to you? What parts of the writing stick in your memory after reading? What puzzled you? What pleased you? If the author asked specific questions, try to direct your comments to those questions first.

4) Educate yourself in a greater understanding of the written word. There are many thousands of books written for writers (and readers) that discuss characterization, structure, theme, plot and everything else. It isn’t as hard to understand as it might seem. You might find you only lack the vocabulary, not the knowledge.

5) Be specific. Read the piece more than once and mark the things that puzzle or bother you. Mark things you like, too. If you have a general comment, give specific examples from the writing. When you are reading, check problems in reference material and bring the references. A writer can give more attention and thought to a specific, focused problem than to some nebulous “feeling” reported by a reader. A negative comment, phrased in specific terms and focused on a particular problem, is much more helpful and more likely to be accepted than something vague or amorphously positive.

6) Don’t over praise or praise vaguely. Specific and clear comments are the most useful. Constant praise often sounds false to a writer. Writers tend to be very aware of problems in their work and will doubt your word if you have nothing but general positive comments. You lose credibility as a reader if you issue only praise. However, praising particular lines, characters, word choices, etc., will help a writer see his or her strengths.

7) Balance your comments. For every negative you have, find a positive. If you simply didn’t like a piece at all, pick one problem you found to mention and leave the rest. Phrase your comments in an impersonal manner. Never use insulting or vulgar phrases. Avoid “being clever” or displaying sarcasm. When all else fails you, saying “I couldn’t appreciate the piece” or "I'm not the right audience for this" can be enough.

8) Critique to a standard as well as your own tastes. Watch out for your personal prejudices. If, for example, you don't like unhappy endings, realize that that is an issue of taste and not necessarily the sign of a bad story. The same applies to types of stories, types of characters, and certain kinds of action – sort your reactions to, say, horror or erotica, apart from your ability to judge the story on its own merits. Differentiating your preferences from the nuts-and-bolts of the story can be difficult. When in doubt, explain that your preferences may have affected your comments. If you can't separate your prejudices from your comments, say so and be gracious about not making comment.

9) Don't rewrite the piece. It is inappropriate and very insulting. If you found an incorrectly used word or a badly phrased sentence, point it out along with a substantiating resource and then leave it alone. Don't impose your style, preferences, or tastes on someone else's work.

10) Keep yourself emotionally separate from your comments. It is the writer’s work in the end. He or she must sort through all the comments made and pick those that can be used. Don’t argue your point of view on a piece and accept that others – including the author – may disagree. Being right isn’t important. Offering a useful, honest opinion is.

How to I handle other people’s critiques of my work?

If giving critique is hard, accepting critique is terrifying. How can you balance what you see in your work with what other people say? How do you deal with negative comments? And how do you make use of what you hear?

1) Know your audience. The goal of every writer is to communicate effectively to a reader. When you were writing, you were trying to talk to someone else. You may have had a specific person in mind. That specific person probably won’t be reading and commenting on your piece. If you did your job as a writer, your writing should be accessible to almost anyone. If it isn’t, that itself may be useful information. If you are writing to a specific audience, then you must seek critique from a member of that audience.

2) Divorce yourself from your written piece. You are not your writing, even though it can feel just like that. You may never fully break the emotional tie to what you write, but you can distance yourself. Once you offer a piece, you are sending it into the world to stand on its own or fall flat. If you feel shaky, cultivate a single person as Your Reader : a trusted individual who is aware of your feelings for your more fragile or personal pieces. Don’t expect a group to know how personal or revealing a piece is, or how strongly you feel about it. If you ask for comments on unfinished work, do so carefully. It's usually better to not do it.

3) Never ask for comments you don’t want. Assess your motives in asking for critique. Writing can fill you with self-doubt and make you hungry for praise. Solitude can blind you to your writing’s problems. Negative critiques can make you unreasonably angry or hurt. Be honest with yourself – how will negative comments affect you? If you need encouragement, ask for it up front. If you need a specific kind of critique -- for example, a proofreading for typos -- ask for that.

4) Wait before responding. Sometimes your emotions will get the better of you no matter what the comment was. Beware knee-jerk rejection (or acceptance!) of a comment. Sometimes it is best to wait a few days or weeks before reading critique. Even commentary you wanted can cause an unexpected emotional reaction that can cloud your judgment. If you feel overwhelming emotion in reaction to a critique, put it aside and let yourself calm down.

5) Keep creative control. Asking for comments does not commit you to responding to or using every single one. All the comments were offered in good faith, but they may not all be equally useful. Be willing to experiment, but remember that, in the end, you are the writer and you must make the decisions about what and how you do and do not want to write.

6) Compare comments. Everyone who reads your work will have an opinion. Before you try to act on all of them, look them over. Is some particular comment showing up more than once? Are comments tending toward a specific aspect of your work, like characterization or word choice? These are the comments to study first. When multiple people see the same problem, you should listen.

7) Ask questions. You know your problem areas. Help the people who are commenting to help you. Ask specific, focused questions to which they can make specific answers. Direct attention to trouble areas in your work. Ask for clarification when needed.

Last, listen carefully! If you find yourself defending or explaining your writing, then perhaps you aren’t ready for a critique or you are taking the comments on the work as comments about yourself. In review and workshops, it is the readers who should talk – the writer should listen. The writing should speak for itself. If you have trouble making yourself listen, take notes. Make the most of the comments you get.

In Which I Gaze Upon Beauty

2008-10-17T11:55:00.002-04:00

In Which I Discuss Story Seeds

2008-10-15T11:47:00.004-04:00

Where do stories come from?

I'm definitely a "seed" sort of writer. I don't ask a lot of "what if" questions or piece together a variety of ideas. I certainly don't set out to write a particular kind of story or character. And plot? If I'm lucky, I'll figure out a plot.

Instead, I'll see something or hear something, and some little piece of it will settle into my head. Anything can potentially become a story. Everything is a seed.

Not every seed grows into a story, of course. I've got a brain full of seeds that sprouted, maybe even making it onto a page in my notebook or a file on my hard drive, and then just withered. It isn't like I get to pick, either. Stories I don't even know I want to write will pop up, and that's the story I have to write. Stories I'd like to write never seem to take off, or even get started. For instance, I love science fiction. I've always wanted to write a science fiction story. Yet, every time I've tried, the story fails to develop. In fact, I don't get science fiction ideas that often.

Right now, I have one of those science fiction ideas. It's my planned story for NaNoWriMo coming up in a few weeks. The seed of the story are snippets of a really bad science fiction movie I saw years ago. I'm not 'stealing' the movie's plot or ideas (such as they were) -- the bits that were original weren't very good, and the rest of the movie is common ground trod by many, many, MANY stories, movies, and TV shows. But those snippets suggested other ideas and I've played with those for a while, finally writing down some of them in my notebook and now contemplating trying to write 60,000 words about them.

I've based stories on conversations, on dreams, on pieces of art, even on single phrases or words -- something drops into my brain, germinates, and I have a story. It's not a controllable process. It doesn't yield easily to my control. I find I envy those writers who can actually plan out a story from the beginning, who can decide some topic or situation interests them and go from there. It seems like such a good way to write.

In Which I Discuss Authors, Characters, and Readers

2008-10-10T09:20:00.004-04:00

In his Yahoo forum, my partner A.B. Guye asked the following question:

Do authors have to be like their characters?

This arose because of reader reactions to his writing -- assumptions that he has done all his characters have done, looks like them, lives like them, etc.

I find this an endlessly amusing set of assumptions, because it's particular to specific genres of literature. Readers of science fiction don't assume their favorite authors have traveled into space, eaten lunch with aliens, or plugged their brains directly into acomputer network. Mystery writers aren't assumed to be detectives,
police officers, or FBI agents on the side. Fantasy writers aren't expected to cast spells or consort with elves (except, perhaps, at conventions) and writers of horror, paranormal, or urban fantasy
aren't usually required to have personal acquaintance with vampires or werewolves. Even in literary fiction, just because a writer spins a character with certain events in his/her life, it doesn't automatically mean those events took place in the author's life.

So why are erotica and romance so different? I've heard both the "if you aren't (this particular flavor of person) you can't know" and "you must be (this particular flavor of person) to write like that" arguments, and they simply are not supported by the evidence.

I think it is because these subjects are both very personal and something many people fancy themselves 'expert' at on some level. If an author reached a reader enough to sexually excite them or invoke those emotions related to sex and love, it CAN'T just be the author has done a good job of researching and writing. The author has to be LIKE the reader in order to perform this magic act. But that's just not true. Or, rather, we are all more alike than we are different.

Remember the movie "As Good As It Gets"? Jack Nicholson played a misogynistic, curmudgeonly romance writer, and his fans could not reconcile his cynicism and rudeness with the writing to which they responded so deeply. He's asked "How do you write women so well?"
and he answers "I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability." Now, I'm illustrating his personality, not how to write female characters, but that's not so very extreme an example -- all a writer really needs to do to portray something not within his or her personal experience is to pay attention, ask questions, and know how to construct a complete sentence.

There's that old adage for writers, "Write what you know". It's well known and often quoted, but it isn't really all there is. There's a slightly less well known, but equally true axiom "Write what you don't know." That means, don't let not knowing stop you from writing. You can research to fill in the facts later. You can talk to people who do know and synthesize from their information. You can read what other writers have said and study how they did things. It's a little known trick of writing, too, that only between 1/2 and 1/8th of what you actually know about anything needs to appear in the story for the reader to accept it. As long as the writer picks the right details and gets them correct, the reader will fill in the rest.

Just to set the record straight, I'll state here for the world to see -- I have never spoken to a animate stone god. In case you wondered.

A Pause for Politics

2008-10-09T14:04:00.002-04:00

Compared to the crushingly huge issues we face as a nation and as a species, the movement to ban same-sex marriage is a complete non-issue. Go read what Jim has to say.

If you live in California, you might want to look at this, too.

When I think about people who can't find work, struggle with mental and physical illness, who have no home, insufficient food and clothing, little or no healthcare -- who just struggle to live -- I mourn the loss of energy and money wasted on worries about who marries who, or who sleeps with who.

Of course, it is much easier to make faces and noises over other people's sex/love lives than to face the harder problems and suffering. It's more self-serving to stand in disapproval and pretend "God" is on your side over something as stupid as this, in supreme confidence that any "God" will not notice the hurt you cause and the hurt you do nothing to alleviate.

I'm Available!

2008-10-07T09:56:00.002-04:00

Now available at Freya's Bower.

In Which I Admire a Star

2008-10-03T11:11:00.002-04:00

Just because it's a Friday and I could use a little Linda Darnell.

5 More Days

2008-10-02T14:22:00.000-04:00

Only 5 more days until my story is released!

Not In My Toy Box

2008-10-01T18:14:00.001-04:00

Well, this would have hastened my childhood development...

In Which I Moan Over Certain Words

2008-09-30T11:32:00.005-04:00

I have some very wonderful friends who are far more worldly than I. They seek to educate me, and thus try to teach me words that might have some use for me one day.

I say, I really don't need these words. Can I not have them? But, unfortunately, education does not work like that. I may forget all I ever knew about long division, but these words will remain.

Moobies = man boobies. Apparently 'chest' just isn't enough these days.
Mangina = man vagina. The anus of a man who enjoys receiving anal sex. It's enough to encourage total celibacy.
Manties = Man panties. From here.
Murse = per wikipedia, either a Male Nurse or a Man Purse. I've heard Man purse more.

Aside from the sheer horror of these words in and of themselves, I notice they are all attempts to 'masthculinize' (lisp intentional) words/things associated with women. Why does anyone need words like these? You know, 'purse' had no particular gender associations until the 20th century. Before that, it was just a bag for carrying money and personal possessions, and, especialy in time periods when men controlled most or all money, were carried almost exclusively by men. I get Manties, although I don't want Manties. The remaining two? Just...no. No!

I just can't take these words seriously, and I try not to think about them too much.

I feel the same about any woman who calls her vagina a 'va-jay-jay'. Someone should just stop Oprah.

In Which I Talk About Things I Won't Do

2008-09-27T10:59:00.005-04:00

In writing, I mean. Everything else is on a case-by-case basis.

I am by no means an expert on erotic or romantic writing, but that just spurs me to study more about it and to pay attention. I read erotica, both very good and very, very, VERY bad, and from that I've gathered a few hard and fast rules for myself.

I will not confuse what I'm writing. There are differences between romance or other genres with erotic elements, erotica, and pure porn/smut/one-hand reading. Consider it a sort of erotica continuum with the raunchiest fuck story on one end, and a story that fades to black shortly after characters move to holding hands. It's easy to tell where a story is because of the proportion of words devoted to the erotic elements -- the more writing time devoted to describing any tab/slot/squishy noise interactions as opposed to plot elements, characterization, or scene setting, the closer to the smut end the story is. A writer should know what is going to predominate before the story is done, and if the story is not at just the spot the author desired, revision is required. Some of my favorite authors ceased to be favorite authors because they forgot this rule, and a story that started out with all the markers of a low erotica/high plot tale forgot all about the plot in favor of recounting bedroom Olympics.
I will not spell out noises. People can moan, scream, gurgle, or squawk like a parrot. Under no circumstances do any of these noises require placement between quotation marks. Spelling out cries of ecstasy is nearly guaranteed to make a reader laugh or roll their eyes heavenward. It is also difficult to tell a spelled out noise from a severe typo.
I will show, not tell. The command to 'show, not tell' echoes through every creative writing class. If ever a genre of writing absolutely required more showing than telling, it is erotic writing. Some of the worst stuff I have read had all the intensity and passion of instructions for building an office supply store book case because it was hardly more than a list of activities and facial expressions. Happily, they tended to be very short stories -- telling doesn't take nearly the time and effort painting a complete picture does.
I will not skip my research and ignore the details. The more sexually savvy your readers are, the more they are likely to get caught on some logical or factual error. I remember a very intense message board discussion when "Brokeback Mountain" came out. Several people decried the initial sex scene because it lacked any indication of lubrication and that just spoiled the moment. Believability took a hit, which affected the rest of the movie. If you are writing about a sexual activity with which you have no personal experience (oh yes, it happens -- erotic writers rarely live the lives they write about, just as few science fiction writers visit the moon or mystery writers deal with criminals. That's why it is fiction) either ask someone who has, or do some reading. There are many, MANY 'how to' sex books which can give you a solid idea of how something works. Don't let your reader think you are an idiot. (Some publishers also require references to safe sex practices or have restrictions on character age.)
I will not pick my 'dirty words' carelessly. Words for genitalia come in four flavors -- Latin derived scientific terms, babytalk, jokey crudeness or flowery euphemism. Your choice of which to use depends on several factors, including how your characters would talk, what audience you expect to read your work, and what kind of story you are writing. Sometimes the best you can do is pick a few words and use them with confidence and consistence. You'll want a handful of words and phrases that work for you so you aren't repeating yourself endlessly, but not so many choices that the reader doesn't know what you are talking about. The most problematic choices are the highly flowery phrases and the babytalk -- again, there's a big risk of losing credibility with your reader and causing unintended laughter if everyone talks like a three year old or everything pulses, throbs and glistens.

For these lessons, I turn in gratitude to the wisdom of Susie Bright (especially her book How to Write a Dirty Story), Cecilia Tan, Bill Noble, Lawrence Schimel, Laura Antoniou, and Pat Califia, among others. I hope I live up to what I learned.

In Which I Pontificate and Procrastinate

2008-09-25T09:13:00.004-04:00

I'm currently working on revising and rewriting an old story. I think it's got the basics of a good story, but the writing makes me cringe.

Going through the editing process for my first story revealed how many bad habits I'd developed over the years. Some things are easy, like repeating particular words. I also had "crutch words" -- words I leaned on as short cuts in a sentence or paragraph -- and "weasel words" -- words like 'seemed' and 'almost' that I scattered everywhere as if I didn't want to commit to any particular action or thought. Passive verbs are the sneakiest things to root out because sometimes they are the only verb that works. I just used two in that last sentence and, while I could find a more 'active' verb, it would sound silly at best and overwrought at worst. Sometimes things run. Sometimes someone kicks someone else. Sometimes things just are. Picking out which situation applies makes my head spin.

So I'm running the old story through the new standards. I've managed just 5 pages so far. It's been nearly as hard as writing the pages up from scratch. Maybe it's harder. Now I'm not just spinning the story, but weighing each word and its relationship to the words around it.

The story is a romance with strong fantasy underpinnings. When I wrote it, I concentrated on the fantasy. The romance just felt like part of the story (nearly every fantasy or fairy tale seems to have true love at its creamy center). Now I have more awareness of the relationship elements. I never thought of myself as a romance writer. I read very little in the genre (in fact, I can't make my way through the average airport paperback romance -- I just can't buy into the necessary assumptions that support the world). Maybe that will work against me -- romance readers expect certain things in a book. Maybe I am paying too much attention to the romance and my own negative connotations about the genre. I have a very hard time judging stuff in my own work.

I've put off working on the next page for long enough.

In Which I Confess to (Writing) Sins

2008-09-23T10:30:00.004-04:00

It's hard to write without making mistakes. Hell, it's hard to live without making mistakes. Sometimes the purpose of our existence is to serve as a bad example to others, after all.

So, in that spirit, I present to you my Top Five Writing Sins.

Editing the story before I've finished it. Cardinal sin, guaranteed to distract, disrupt, dishevel, or cause brain aneurysm. I've been guilty of this one several times. I had some bright idea mid-story, or decided everything was just plain wrong, and I went back to 'fix' it. Inevitably, I'd find my change threw something else out of whack, and I'd have to fix that. Before long, the whole story would be in pieces. One of my biggest writing regrets was a novel I started many years ago with what I thought was a great idea (I still do), only I wrote myself into a hole. Instead of taking a deep breath, skipping some lines, picking a new point and writing until I got to the end of the story, I took the entire thing apart. It's now in pieces on my hard drive, waiting for me to have the guts to go back and Frankenstein it into a story again. If I'd finished it first, I could have revised a whole story consistently from start to finish. I might even have found a way out of the hole I made. And I'd have a finished draft instead of pieces.
Showing anyone the story before it's done. Oh, this one will blow a story out of your hands. I had a few chapters of a story and I offered it to someone else for 'review'. Now, I was not being honest with myself or my reader -- what I really wanted was admiration for my incredible creation -- but I didn't know that. My reader gave me an honest reaction to an unpolished and incomplete story. Looking back, I know the advice was good, but it was also too early. I had not even developed all of my ideas, so I didn't know what to do with someone else's. So, I ran into conflicts between things I saw in the piece, the advice I'd been given, and my own stinging feelings. The story died.
Asking for critique I didn't want. Getting and giving critique is part of what makes a writer's world. Rare is the genius writer who needs no feedback, revision, or editing (and it doesn't pay to assume you are such a genius -- let others reveal that piece of good news.) However, at different times in a writer's (or a story's) life, different kinds of feedback are needed. Sometimes a writer just needs encouragement. He or she needs to hear the good things about a story long slaved over, just to keep going. Other times, especially after a story has been worked and polished, feedback needs to be nit-picky and exacting. There are many levels in between. The well worked story can't use the love and affirmation to improve, while the new story often can't withstand a hard, close read. A writer has to ask for the level needed -- or have a good reader/editor who will ask. Knowing what you want and being honest about what you can take is essential to avoiding hurt feelings, bruised (or over inflated) egos, crushing self doubt, or embarrassment.
Not learning the basics. This was, for me, a mistake of youth, but I've seen it in writers of all ages -- an unshakable faith that talent is all that matters in writing, and everything else will 'just happen'. Ain't necessarily so, and I learned that in my first college writing class. The basic stuff -- the tools of writing -- is not that hard. All the punctuation and grammar rules you need can be found in a small book of under 200 pages (and lots of white space) called The Elements of Style . If you don't like that one, there are many more, and you can always go back to check if you hit a snag. That basic stuff is the way to communicate the wonderful, breathtaking ideas you have. Once you know it inside and out, then you can start experimenting with it. If you want to paint, you must learn to handle brushes, combine colors, prepare canvases, and pay attention to hundreds of details. If you want to be a musician, you have to learn to play the instrument and practice scales. If you want to drive race cars, you have to learn to steer, brake, and control a car. You can't dance until you learn the steps.
Not studying the craft. This means reading, and not just reading for pleasure. For a (short) while, I thought that my stories just came out of my head. It took a few years and a lot of work to finally catch on to the very obvious fact that everything I wrote was generated not just from all I'd seen, heard, and experienced, but from everything I'd ever read. The 'how-to' of writing comes from learning how other writers do it. If you want to write science fiction, you have to read science fiction, and not only to get lost in another world. How does the writer make you care about what happens? How does he paint an image in your head? How does he keep the action moving (or not moving)? How does he write? You can learn that by reading books as a writer. And you can't restrict yourself to science fiction. You have to read some science fact, and some fantasy, and some venerable old classics. Read outside your comfort zone. Read stuff you are certain you won't like, just so you know why you don't like it. Find books that analyze the writing (like Cosmic Critiques or Narrative Design). Even if you decide to stay in a particular niche and write a very particular story, knowledge makes you better at it.

A writer's life is all about making mistakes. The hardest thing I face in writing is not being perfect, and it causes me the most loss of sleep. I'm never going to be perfect. Hell, I'm never even going to please everybody with my writing. But I can always improve. As Samuel Beckett said once: "Try again. Fail again. Fail better."

In Which I Ruminate on Fan Fiction

2008-09-21T12:56:00.008-04:00

Like many a writer in these media saturated days, I have written fan fiction. The majority of it was written when I was a teenager, and is decidedly juvenalia, best left where I've hidden it. I've had a few pieces, though, written in more recent years, which I used to develop my writing. They are not publishable for (among other reasons) being based on the original works of others. Yes, one is Star Trek, although I resisted the lure of the venerable Kirk/Spock pairing (the origin of the term 'slash', did you know?)

Opinions on fan fiction vary very widely, from those who see it as stealing, copyright infringement, and plagiarism to those who see it as a valid creative form. I liked it because it let me try out some new ideas without making me do a lot of world building. It let me explore small scale while putting my effort on just what interested me. Lazy, yes, but handy. Sometimes, too, a set of characters was just irresistible.

I also think it shares certain qualities with the venerable writing exercise of "write in the style of..."some famous writer or other. Write like Hemingway, write like Faulkner, write like Fitzgerald, write like Dickens. In digging in to a fandom, one has to analyse and understand what makes the fandom work. Fanfic writers don't always do this or may not always display their understanding in the writing, but the better ones do.

There's also the flip side (or the somewhat-to-one-side side) of understanding what the fans want. Erotica is possibly a little more audience specific than other genres, so to write an erotic fan fic (slash or 'shipping or whatever the jargon for it is lately) requires a little research - at least total immersion in the tropes and motifs of the particular fandom and the fantasies of the audience. To write for the audience's appreciation is probably harder than making your ideas fit into an existing world.

I think that ever since works of imagination were spread among a wide audience, certain souls projected their imaginations into the stories they heard. Then, when television provided entry into more exotic worlds each week, allowing more thought and more time -- and more inspiration and speculation -- that desire most naturally developed past day dreams and into writing. If you look carefully at any fiction creation, you will find the borrowed feathers of any number of previous works.

In Which I Contemplate What is Next

2008-09-20T16:55:00.005-04:00

So, now what?

Someone (a famous someone, I'm sure) said that the trick to being a published writer is getting published again. So, I'm working on that. I'd like to be published again. It's a very nice feeling.

Current works in progress:

Rewrite a novella I wrote about 12 years ago to remove the horrid passive verbs, tighten up sentences, and expand some of the nonsense.
Finish Urban Fantasy novel I've been working on for the last 9 years so that I can go back and edit it into some sense. The plot didn't show up for the longest time, but it's got enough angst to make up for that.
Complete the novel that's been obsessing me since last year's NaNoWriMo. That would require more discipline than I've had lately, but obviously I just need the proper coffee shop.
Prepare for this year's NaNo and turn the story sketch in my notebook into a draft. Erotic Space Opera anyone?

Yeah, a few projects. I need to find a project meter widget so I can demonstrate my slackertude in numbers.

Announcement

2008-09-15T23:15:00.004-04:00

I am pleased to announce my upcoming erotic short story, In the Temple of Nogged, will be released for purchase from Freya's Bower on October 7th, 2008.

In a temple devoted to sexual pleasure, what can possibly persuade a god to grant a desperate wish?